Doosh Thunderdome: It’s votin’ time.

So, whaddya reckon?

Serena Williams?

I'm a doosh in a catsuit!

Delonte West?

I'm a shirtless doosh!

Terrelle Pryor?

I'm a doosh in a horseshoe!

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Terrelle Pryor: Doosh Dossier

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day. Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009. Stay classy, squeeple!

Next up are Serena Williams, Delonte West and Terrelle Pryor or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the doosh athletes who shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Terrelle Pryor

Okay, some people will say you should cut this guy some slack because he’s young.  But I say if you’re old enough to serve our country in a friggin’ war, you should be old enough to put together a few coherent thoughts.  And no, saying “everyone kills people” is not a coherent thought.

To be fair though, that quote doesn’t quite do his dooshiness justice.  First of all, he was defending Mike Vick.  That was mistake No. 1.  Mistake No. 2 follows in its entirety:

“Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever.”

Also, here is a video of him doing what he does best:  Inserting his foot into his mouth.

We are left speechless from this ridiculousness, when HE is the one who shouldn’t be talking.  And this makes us angry.

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Oct. 24, 2009 — 10:30 a.m. CT

NFL Guy and I (and a couple of cowbells) are about to hit the road for Starkville, Mississippi for tonight’s Mississippi State-Florida game, but as you enjoy your morning java and prepare to openly gawk at the shenanigans of Lee Corso, check out our pregame podcast for today’s college football stories:

• Florida hasn’t won in Starkville since 1985.  1985, people. 
• Warm thoughts and fuzzies for the UConn family and for the family of Jasper Howard
• Quarterback on the rise: Christian Ponder (who may just be Florida State’s next Rhodes Scholar)
• Quarterback on the fall: Terrelle Pryor, who is obviously regressing this season for the Buckeyes
• Upset alert: Washington over Oregon
• BCS standings? Yawn.

Eyeblack Odyssey Week 8

Follow us on Twitter (#eyeblack) and be sure to check our Facebook page for updates tomorrow.

But for now, here’s a little humor to start off your gameday:

And a more serious preview…

The worst the sport has to offer

Yeah, it’s what you think.  Here’s the weekly Bottom 25 teams/players/what have you of the college football world (at least in this humble author’s opinion).

25. Miami fans – I’ve never been all that impressed to tell the truth, and Monday night confirmed every stereotype you can think of.  Hey, here’s an idea:  A fan base of a team that has won FIVE national titles acting like it’s been there before.

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