Oh Just Take My Word For It Already, You Were Going To Anyway.

No, Skimming Rainbow is not the latest thrill available on the Craigslist casual encounters board. (Except if you like doing it in the bookstore.)  It’s just what I’m calling this roundup of links from the week. Now that Reading Rainbow is off the air, this is the most important literature available to you.

Making it work, Weekend-At-Bernie's style.

According to the rest of the internet this week:

• Project Runway sucked this week.
• Woody Harrelson (stop yawning and read) smokes pot and justifies his drug use with our drug use. JNLYBJJ. (Judge not lest ye be Judge Judy, © stopthemadness)
• Spencer Pratt committed the unpardonable doosh. So doom! (Just in case he wasn’t already going to hell for this comment.)
• Gerard Butler refuses to make any films he’ll be remembered for.
• The Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Danielle Staub is selling her house in glamorous Wayne, NJ: Home of the Chinese restaurant where I used to get drunk.
• Am I the only one who didn’t realize Janet and Jermaine had broken up?
• An X-Factor reject got plastic surgery after being criticized once by Simon Cowell, which begs the question, why exactly did she think she was ready to be famous?

P.S. Happy Labor Day!

Make it work.

As Sarah mentioned, Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn will be gracing our screens for another season of Project Runway tonight. After a brouhaha about the move to Lifetime and LA, viewers will be treated to the new, west-coastier version, starting tonight. Perhaps the move to a new city and a channel will change the show, and you know I love to speculate. Presented for your entertainment, 10 Speculative Speculations!

You can leave your own after the jump!

(more…)

Uh, From Me. And Them, Maybe!

You know what today is? It’s SAR’S BIRTHDAY! And it’s also the new season of Project Runway! Which also happens to be SAR’S FAVORITE SHOW (I think!) Now, none of us know if Lifetime or Heidi Klum or Tim Gunn or Nina Garcia OR Michael Kors planned it that way since they won’t return our calls. So we’ve decided that it’s safe to assume that yes, they DID plan it that way. So, tonight’s ProjRun Kickoff is hereby DEDICATED TO SAR! On her somethingth (no we will NOT tell but if you assume “young and wicked cute” you would be right) birthday!!!!

There’s no news at all!

I will continue to burn incense three times a day on my Sad Chicken altar, until things start looking better.

People love Chris Brown

Diminutive braying avian and flat-iron fanatic, Christian Siriano, proved that doosh things come in small packages when asked about Chris Brown beating the shit out of Rihanna. Siriano said such insightful things as:

“[Rihanna] is kind of a Diva,” and, “No, but there has to be someone, something that she did to provo - promote, provoke him.”

The intellectual lightweight then went on to contradict himself after being taken to task by a TMZ reporter.

Let me repeat, the TMZ reporter was the voice of reason.

First Kanye, now this - truly the end is nigh.