Note: you are not Father of the Year.

I think, therefore I doosh.

Dear Nas,

On behalf of womankind, I’d like to illuminate you on the following:

You suck giant donkey balls and should be bitchslapped by my very good friend, Angry Black Lady.  (Seriously, don’t piss her off, man.  She’ll cut you.)

You’ve been very clever about deriding your soon-to-be ex-wife, Kelis, in the media, under the guise of “a source close to the situation.”

But, you prick, she is the mother of your child.  And you show up for the birth drunk off your ass while she’s going through 3 days of labor?

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“Pay Me For Leaving Your Ass”

This crap pisses me the hell off. Kelis doesn’t want to be married to Nas anymore but she feels that he should still bathe her in diamonds and give her 100 dollar bills to wipe her ass with. According to TMZ Kelis claims she spends over 14,000 a month in mortgage payments, $4,000 a month for a nanny and roughly $15,000 a month for “entertainment and gifts”. Sounds to me like she needs to adjust her lifestyle if she’s no longer going to be married to an insanely rich man. I don’t know why they are splitting when she is ready to give birth to their child but I don’t believe that he should have to pay her way for the rest of eternity. Child support he should pay; everything else should be left up to her. I’m sorry but why should he have to continue supporting a woman that doesn’t think he’s good enough to be with her? Futhermore, what kind of self-respecting woman would say she can’t survive without a man supporting her? You have a job Kelis, go on tour and pay your own way. Maybe scale back your entertainment costs to about $200 a month like a normal person and buy a house that doesn’t cost you $14,000 a month. Also, you can get a good nanny for alot less than $3,500 a month. Trust. Grow up and stop acting like a spoiled brat, you’re giving women a bad name.

In which Thundersquee! reviews the Grammy red carpet

The public has spoken.  (No conformity required.  For now.)

Thundersquee! has listened.

Behold, our picks for The Squee, The Meh and The Fail: Grammy Edition.

A lot of red carpet walkers last night trended towards a somber or safe approach - John Mayer and Miley Cyrus, we’re looking at you.

But after hours of exhaustive research and repeated utterances of “Meh!” we have culled down our list to the mehiest of meh.

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