Art Thou KIDDING ME?!?!

"Sure, end dogfighting. I don't have to pay for it, do I?"

First the Philadelphia Eagles and now BET is signing this guy!?  Seriously?

BET is partnering with Michael Vick’s production company (he has a production company!?) to produce a reality show for Vick, tentatively called The Michael Vick Project.

No, I’m not kidding.  Michael friggin’ Vick, dog killer extraordinaire, is partnering with Black Entertainment Television to produce a REALITY SHOW.  The show, according to its producers, will be different than ordinary reality shows and will be more serious in tone.  According to Radar Online, “The series will explore Vick’s past, his time in prison, his NFL comeback and his problems with his fiancé.”

Notably, the statement doesn’t expressly say that his reality show will explore the fact that he is a goddamn dog killer.  Additionally, because Vick is 20 million dollars in debt, there is, unsurprisingly, no word on whether any of the proceeds of the show will be donated to any animal organizations.

I seem to recall a faux contrite press conference during which Vick claimed that he wanted to set an example for kids and that he would attempt to begin to atone for his animal murdering sins.

We’re still waiting Vick.  Still waiting.

Sports moms and dog owners exhale 

Yesterday reports were released that Michael Vick, dog lover and former National Football League quarterback marvel had inked an endorsement deal with Nike, the brand he formerly was endorsed by, which dumped him in 2007 after he was jailed for his involvement with a dog-fighting ring.

“Nike does not have a contractual relationship with Michael Vick,” Nike spokesman KeJuan Wilkins said in a statement.

However, Nike did agree to supply Vick with their product, as it does with many athletes, but Vick is not paid to wear Nike. It’s safe to announce that soccer/football/basketball moms of the world can all save their ThunderFist^TM for another day.

Five sport-type things you may want to know

The more things change, the more they remain the same. 
 
A few months back, the top stories in the sports world were Brett Favre and Michael Vick.  What are the top stories this week?  You guessed it, Brett Favre and Michael Vick.
 
Somewhere, Walter Cronkite is weeping for the future.
 
So we have some resolution (we think) in the Brett Favre and Michael Vick sagas. 
 
Yippee.
 
Hey, if it keeps them out of the headlines (and out of this space), I’m all for it.  I’m just not so sure that will be the case.
 
We can all hope.
 
 Here are the five sport-type things you may want to know this week.

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Today I am Angry Pink Lady, and shit’s on!

Dear Jefferey Lurie, Joe Banner, Tom Heckert and Andy Reid,

First, I would like to cordially invite you all to eat an entire king sized bag of dicks–each–think theater popcorn extra-large.  Just strap it on like a feedbag, and go about your day.  Second of all, I would like to say, YOU SIGNED MICHAEL VICK? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMNED MINDS? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?

There now, I feel a little bit better, but not much, and don’t think just because I can now type rationally that I’ll be taking back that dick eating request any time soon. I won’t. Now, on to more serious business.

Vick is a felon who bankrolled and possibly committed with his own hands, but certainly caused and perpetuated, incredible acts of cruelty, torture and killing. Fifty dogs were found alive on Vick’s estate, FIFTY! These dogs were in such bad psychological condition that neither the HSUS nor PETA held out any real hope for their rehabilitation. Even worse, numerous dog corpses were retrieved from graves found at various locations–dogs who had been hanged, beaten and/or mutilated to death.

Should this situation be treated any differently than if he had done this to humans? I don’t think so. Lack of empathy is lack of empathy.  That he’s capable of doing that to dogs is a strong indicator that he is capable of far worse, and yet you’ve chosen him to lead your team? Fuck that noise. I’m not buying his bullshit excuses and neither should you. He can play the cultural conditioning card all he wants, and whine things like,  “I was raised this way so I don’t see dogs the same way as the rest of society,” but you know what? All he had to do was look around. A cursory glance at the rest of our society, and the fact that what he was doing was illegal could have easily clued him in to the unacceptable nature of his acts.

And before you go saying he’s apologized, let me say this. Lip service is lip service and actions are actions. I can say anything I want. Saying something doesn’t make it true. Look, “The Jonas Brothers are my new favorite band.” See?  That shit was a lie. I loathe the Jonas Brothers and all they represent. Besides, if I were a bankrupt felon who had lost a $23 million contract by committing disgusting, inhumane acts, I’d be apologizing all over the place. I could probably even work up a tear or two thinking about the house I lost.

That being said, right now, I’m not willing to believe Vick is sorry for anything other than getting caught and finding out there are consequences to his actions. When Vick has proven that he’s changed his ways, maybe, but he hasn’t had time to prove it. He just walked out of prison.

Giving him a two-year contract is, at best, brushing aside his heinous crimes for the sake of a little bit of press for your team, and at worst, tacit approval of his acts.  Do you–no, do WE as a culture really value football over the sanctity of life?

From here on out, the Philadelphia Eagles will no longer be my favorite team.  See, I told you that saying things didn’t make them true. The Eagles have never been my favorite team, but they stand no chance of it now, because you, sirs, are on my shit list.

Sincerely,

Lily the Pink

Five sport-type things you may want to know

I think you can probably go ahead and hit up Eli Manning for a cigarette if you want. He can afford it. The contract extension he just inked, $97 million over six years, attests to that (don’t let him try to tell you he can’t afford it). But all the money in the world (which he’s very close to claiming, by the way) won’t buy you wins. That’s what training camp is for!

Erm, well, that’s what the coaches will try to tell you, anyway. Me? I tend to think injuries (or lack thereof) have a bit more to do with who is playing in January and who isn’t. Training camp intensity? Good for headlines. Good for reporters. Good for coaches who fret about any break in consistency. Good for winning? We’ll see.

But regardless, training camp is here, and in honor of the football frenzy that kicks off this time of year (check out any training camp in America for proof), this week is all NFL, all the time. Man, that sounds dirty.  Good and dirty, because this is the wonderful month of the season everyone can rejoice in their team’s chances.

Everyone who doesn’t root for the Lions, anyway.

Here are the five sport-type things you may want to know this week.

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Five sport-type things you may want to know

Well, I’m back. And so is Michael Vick.

Weep for the future.

I mentioned Michael Vick Watch ^TM several weeks back, and true to form, it is happening as predicted. The goon (and I don’t use that term lightly) gets out of prison and it’s a story. The goon doesn’t go to a strip club and it’s a story. The goon takes a leak and it’s a story. I think it bears repeating: Every member of the sports media will make so big a deal out of this goon/story/pain in the eye that you’ll be begging for a “Tim Tebow is Jesus” story before you know it.

Thank you, ESPN, for destroying my sporting soul. P.S. I hate you, ESPN (except for Corso and Herbstreit - you guys rock).

Anyway, since I’m all about being hypocritical, we lead with Vick this week - yep, I’m awesome like that.

Here are the five sport-type things you may want to know this week.

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Five sport-type things you may want to know

But really, who doesn't love Tecmo Super Bowl?

This being my first contribution to Thundersquee!, perhaps introductions are in order.

I’m the new guy - my name is NFL Guy - and my life is devoted to staring at guys (in particular, athletes).

Try not to hate me.

Not that I get a whole lot out of the experience, mind you. Most of these guys are so unjustifiably impressed with themselves it takes an awful lot of self-loathing to even muster the fortitude to stand watching them. As a sane person, simply being in the same room as most of them is akin to being back in high school with your underwear pulled over your head. You’d have to be completely brain dead with no self worth whatsoever to actually seek the majority of these knuckleheads out.

Actually, this kind of explains the whole Jessica Simpson-Tony Romo thing, doesn’t it?

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