Fear Not, Bacon Enthusiasts.

Swine flu is sweeping Mexico and has made its way into the United States–Kansas, Texas, and California– prompting the World Health Organization to announce that the recent swine flu outbreak is a “public health emergency of international concern.”

No shit.

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But My Colon’s A Mess

The most recent peanut butter and salmonella dilemma had scientists thrown for a loop. Years back, it was much easier to pinpoint the source of a contamination by searching for maggots or other physical evidence. Now technology has made it more difficult to pinpoint who, what, where, when, why and how (don’t forget how) a contamination occurs. Lucky for us, “Team Diarrhea” came to save the day - Ba da DA!! Turns out, King Nut was the problem.

This is too easy… I’ll let you take your own shots here.

May you down in flames sickness!!!

I have a cold. I live in the desert, it’s 70 degrees outside and I have a cold. Whoever thought it would be funny to make people cough and drip fluid from their nose for days should be kicked somewhere. I don’t care where: head, balls, kidney…wherever. Also, kick the genius that invented sinus infections. Why is it we can figure out how to remove a gallbladder via the vagina but we can’t cure a common cold? I call bullshit.

Spit or Swallow?

A 25 year-old woman in Birmingham, England was recently diagnosed with an extremely rare heart disease which causes her to faint due to ingesting certain food or drink.  One of six diagnosed with “swallow syncope,” this woman has been known to lose consciousness when eating sandwiches or drinking soda because the disease blocks blood flow to the brain when eating some foods. (more…)

Revolving Doors?

Kidney removal in the past has been viewed as cumbersome by donors for multiple reasons, among them, scarring, pain and inconvenience. This new discovery will make the prospect of donating much more appealing, at least for women… um, according to a man? Rather than remove the kidney the old fashioned way, “through [a] small keyhole incision,” I’ve got it! Take it out her vagina!!

I. Kid. You. Not. Because the idea of reaching in through my vag to remove an organ is so much more drawing than having a tiny scar. Except, you know, not?