Giving thanks to Rock ‘n Roll!

Happy Thanksgiving, Squeers!  Since most of the Captains of this mystery ship are off for the holiday, I thought I’d take the liberty of gratuitously shoving my best friend’s band down your collective throats.  (His band’s CD Release party was last night, sheesh!) And without further adieu, I give you the Sights.  Enjoy!

We here at Thundersquee! love our commenters. We love them so much that we’d sneak out to the parking lot behind the bleachers and make out with them in the back seat of their bitchin’ Camaro. But Thundersquee! is classy, so there will be no heavy petting. Instead, Thundersquee! will highlight the most squee!-worthy comments in a weekly column aptly titled Best in Squee!

And the award goes to…

(more…)

There are so many bags of crap being set aflame on the front porch of knowledge that we at Thundersquee! felt like it was time to do something about it. We were all ready to put on our boots and get to stompin’ when we realized it would be more fun to let our Squeers! do it. So, we pass the boots on to you. Be careful though, not all the nuggets contained within are composed of fecal matter–some are golden nuggets of truth and only you can decide which is which.

And remember, no cheating. The only thing cheaters will win is the swift brick of justice.

Here’s this week’s challenge:

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False!  The spleen actually helps the immune system to recognize and fight infections.

There are so many bags of crap being set aflame on the front porch of knowledge that we at Thundersquee! felt like it was time to do something about it. We were all ready to put on our boots and get to stompin’ when we realized it would be more fun to let our Squeers! do it. So, we pass the boots on to you. Be careful though, not all the nuggets contained within are composed of fecal matter–some are golden nuggets of truth and only you can decide which is which.

And remember, no cheating. The only thing cheaters will win is the swift brick of justice.

Here’s this week’s challenge:

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The answer will be posted at 5:00 p.m. PT.

Stuff is good!

Attention, Squeeples!  It has recently come to my attention that I am not as angry as I once was.  I know, I’m surprised too.  I even (occasionally) eat cupcakes now! (go ahead and gasp in shock and awe; I’ll wait.) Now, I don’t want ya’ll to think I’m getting soft.  Certain things still chafe my ass; the Toyota Prius, people who cry for attention, karaoke, telemarketers from colleges who call my phone 12 - 15 times a day (stop calling already!) after you fill out something online showing interest, etc. etc,.  So I’ve decided to share something I love, that you should too!

This week’s stuff I love is:  Man vs. Food!

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There are so many bags of crap being set aflame on the front porch of knowledge that we at Thundersquee! felt like it was time to do something about it. We were all ready to put on our boots and get to stompin’ when we realized it would be more fun to let our Squeers! do it. So, we pass the boots on to you. Be careful though, not all the nuggets contained within are composed of fecal matter–some are golden nuggets of truth and only you can decide which is which.

And remember, no cheating. The only thing cheaters will win is the swift brick of justice.

Here’s this week’s challenge:

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Fact! Most people fart around 14 times a day, but only 2% of them stink.

There are so many bags of crap being set aflame on the front porch of knowledge that we at Thundersquee! felt like it was time to do something about it. We were all ready to put on our boots and get to stompin’ when we realized it would be more fun to let our Squeers! do it. So, we pass the boots on to you. Be careful though, not all the nuggets contained within are composed of fecal matter–some are golden nuggets of truth and only you can decide which is which.

And remember, no cheating. The only thing cheaters will win is the swift brick of justice.

Here’s this week’s challenge:

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The spooky scary edition

Have you ever read Nick Hornby’s awesome opus, High Fidelity? Fact is, I’m the protagonist…minus a few massive character flaws that leave me unable to commit to a relationship/not act like a tremendous douche.

But I have always, always been an audiophile. Major life events are often filed away and categorized in my head by an accompanying playlist. For example, when my late dad died, I listened to a lot of Johnny Cash (which the two of us used to listen to together as we prepared holiday feasts). When I think about planning weddings, I think of Regina Spektor and Leigh Nash.

Let’s talk Halloween, shall we?
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There are so many bags of crap being set aflame on the front porch of knowledge that we at Thundersquee! felt like it was time to do something about it. We were all ready to put on our boots and get to stompin’ when we realized it would be more fun to let our Squeers! do it. So, we pass the boots on to you. Be careful though, not all the nuggets contained within are composed of fecal matter–some are golden nuggets of truth and only you can decide which is which.

And remember, no cheating. The only thing cheaters will win is the swift brick of justice.

Here’s this week’s challenge:

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ANSWER: Fact!  Prior to the 17th century, carrots were purple.  Since they turned soups an odd color, the less common orange carrot was bred into a more common trait, resulting in the carrots we see today.

We here at Thundersquee! love our commenters. We love them so much that we’d sneak out to the parking lot behind the bleachers and make out with them in the back seat of their bitchin’ Camaro. But Thundersquee! is classy, so there will be no heavy petting. Instead, Thundersquee! will highlight the most squee!-worthy comments in a weekly column aptly titled Best in Squee!

And the award goes to…

(more…)

There are so many bags of crap being set aflame on the front porch of knowledge that we at   Thundersquee! felt like it was time to do something about it. We were all ready to put on our boots and get to stompin’ when we realized it would be more fun to let our Squeers! do it. So, we pass the boots on to you. Be careful though, not all the nuggets contained within are composed of fecal matter–some are golden nuggets of truth and only you can decide which is which.

And remember, no cheating. The only thing cheaters will win is the swift brick of justice.

Here’s this week’s challenge:

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The answer will be posted at 5 PM Pacific.

This aggression will not stand, man!

An ice-skating circus bear finally turned on his trainers killing one and mauling the other.

A bear from a Ukrainian circus performing ice-skating tricks

Then the police shot the bear in the face and killed him.  I’m going to have to side with the bear on this one.  People, animals are untamed!  They are wild!  Doesn’t anyone remember this lady? What about this man? I don’t care how much you think you can tame your pet Tiger (Benji Madden), it is going to eat one of your babies  eventually! And you’ll be crying “A dingo ate my baby” in no time!

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Strange, but true

Moons over… Germany?

Berlin, Germany - A 22 year old journalism student apparently missed the travel etiquette in his Frommer’s travel guide.  It all started when the 22 year old was kicked off the train for not having a ticket to ri-ide-ide.  So he did what any scorned traveler would do and pulled down his trousers and pressed his bare behind up against a window on the double-decker rail car.  Unfortunately for him, his pants became lodged in the door of said train car and he was dragged 200 meters, miraculously keeping his legs away from the wheels.  Luckily, a passenger saw what was happening and pulled the emergency brake.  He escaped with only cuts and bruises, and most likely huge fines for delaying the train and interference.  Let this be a lesson to all travelers, if you’re going to moon a train that will eventually move, do it at a safe distance.

Who’d a guessed it?

Berlin, Germany (again) - The sex industry in Berlin is going green, ya’ll! Several brothels in the capital city of Germany have been battling to avert the decreasing demand in their services due to the economic down turn.  The Maison d’Envie, or House of Desire for you non-fancy talking people, bordello is doing so by offering discounts to customers who arrive via public transportation or bicycle.  Just show them your padlock key or public transportation ticket to receive a Euro5 or $7.50USD discount.  Forget about taking advantage of that discount if you arrive on foot though, as they haven’t found a way to prove that you walked there.  My solution to people hoofing it and are really in need of a little bowm chicka bowm bowm?  Buy a padlock and carry the key with you.

Another brothel also tried to avoid the decline in business by offering a flat-rate for unlimited time with the prostitute of choice, but official’s raised concern about the worker’s rights and club’s cleanliness.  Hooker’s have rights too, ya’ll!

A-hah! This is why my counter is covered in empty cans

Moscow, Russia - Leonid Konovalov knows what it’s like to be down and out on the streets.  The 63 year old ex-engineer from the city of Kemerovo, started collecting nearly 2,000 bottles a day for the past year since Russia’s economy took a dive.  A glass bottle can bring in around 2 Rubles ($0.06).  After much encouragment from his grandchildren, Konovalov took a gamble
on the stock market and his first transaction paid off to the tune of 50,000 Euro ($74,120 USD).

What else is new?

Notice the vacant eyes and inability to find the camera

We have long known that Heidi Montag and her Doucher Husband Who Shall Remain Nameless are at the pinnacle of Suckdom.  Heidi has surpassed the peak by refusing to attend her sister’s 26th birthday party at LA’s Empire Hollywood without being paid.  People are scoffing in disgust (not really, you know no one is surprised) that the ever popular (hah-HA) beauty (double hah-HA) would do something so frivolous as refuse to attend unless her family pays her. I’m mean, seriously?

“Holly was really wishing that her sister could just be a sister and stop by her birthday party, but Heidi only goes places if she is getting paid,” an insider said. “I mean, this is her sister and she wouldn’t even show up without a fee. That’s disgusting.”

Listen up, Heidi, your family has already suffered, I mean paid, enough.  I don’t particularly like my brother, I especially don’t like his “wife”, but I would never charge them to attend any event I was hosting.  I’m sure Doucher Husband Who Shall Remain Nameless had a hand in it, after all he oozes slime, but this aggression will not stand, man.  If I still followed Heidi on Twitter, I’d tell her that God hates her and she’s a piece of poop.  These two dolts won’t do anything that doesn’t make them money.  MTV probably doesn’t even pay them anymore for The Hills, they just show up where the cameras are rolling. It probably goes down like this. (more…)

Toyota Prius edition

Guess what, squeeples?  I’m back to hating things. And I found something I hate more than cupcakes: the Toyota Prius.  Every time I see a Prius on the road I immediately become agitated and want to speed up next to them and honk erratically until the unsuspecting driver of said Prius looks over at me, so I can flip them off.  That- or swerve into them with my tough-as-nails American made piece of moving machinery.  I’ve wondered on several occasions why I don’t carry a sign that says “Fuck you and your Prius” to hold up when I’m next to them.  I’ll tell you why I hate the Prius:

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Last Friday Was “National Pro-Life Cupcake Day.”

That’s fine. I would rather be offered a cupcake from an insane zealot than, say, be shrieked at by insane zealots carrying grotesque signs whenever I go to my gyno for a pap smear. Truthfully, though, I don’t especially like cupcakes so I would’ve likely yelled “THEY SMELL REALLY GOOD BUT THE TASTE IS ALWAYS A DISAPPOINTMENT!!! THANK YOU ANYWAY!! KEEP YOUR GODDAMN CUPCAKES OUT OF MY UTERUS!!!” at them if I’d been offered one.

Since the pro-life community were nice enough to offer foodstuffs, I propose that we plan a National Pro-Choice Something Day (to those of you who are pro-choice. The rest of you already had your cupcake fun!) Cupcakes are clearly out of the question; they’ve already been taken. Plus, Mae will just throw them on the ground and stomp on their cupcake faces while screaming “YOU KNOW WHY!” I’m thinking more along the lines of something savory, like mini quiche lorraine tartlets, or little pot pies. Maybe little plates of pasta carbonara. We’ll put cute lil’ “no coat hangers” images and sayings on them - written in bacon bits -  such as “I support a woman’s right to choose,” “Pro-Child AND Pro-Choice,” and “I was gang-raped by my dad’s buddies and now I’m a terrified knocked up sixth-grader.” You know. Innocuous stuff. Keep it light, I say!

Strange but true

He’s gonna have one helluva time filing taxes

Jackson, Miss. - Daniel Seddiqui was a man on a mission. A mission to work one job in all 50 states, in 50 weeks. He completed his goal two weeks ago.  He also had a secondary goal. To go on one date each week, in a different state. He didn’t reach that goal though, striking out in Wyoming and West Virginia. I can assure you, that was probably for the best, Dan.

 
This frog is gonna have to wait a long time for a kiss

Bangkok, Thailand - WWF international reports that scientists have discovered 163 new species of various reptiles, amphibians, mammals, plants, fish and a bird. Included in the findings is a frog  found in Eastern Thailand that survives off birds and insects and uses fangs to protect itsself. Apparently, the amphibian world wanted to cash in on the recent vampire craze.

The guilty pleasures edition

Have you ever read Nick  Hornby’s awesome opus, High Fidelity?  Fact is, I’m the protagonist…minus a few massive character flaws that leave me unable to commit to a relationship/not act like a tremendous douche.

But I have always, always been an audiophile.  Major life events are often filed away and categorized in my head by an accompanying playlist.  For example, when my late dad died, I listened to a lot of Johnny Cash (which the two of us used to listen to together as we prepared holiday feasts).  When I think about planning weddings, I think of Regina Spektor and Leigh Nash.

So last week Mae and I were on Teh GChat, talking about shower songs.  We collaborated on some lists, and voila!

Let’s talk guilty pleasures, people.  And really, any of these could double as drunken karaoke choices. (more…)

Beyonce` clown fail!

Sports moms and dog owners exhale 

Yesterday reports were released that Michael Vick, dog lover and former National Football League quarterback marvel had inked an endorsement deal with Nike, the brand he formerly was endorsed by, which dumped him in 2007 after he was jailed for his involvement with a dog-fighting ring.

“Nike does not have a contractual relationship with Michael Vick,” Nike spokesman KeJuan Wilkins said in a statement.

However, Nike did agree to supply Vick with their product, as it does with many athletes, but Vick is not paid to wear Nike. It’s safe to announce that soccer/football/basketball moms of the world can all save their ThunderFist^TM for another day.