Depends on what your definition of “is” is.

As you know, Lady Gaga recently met the Queen (God save her) who remained, as far as we know, unmolested.  What you may not know is that a butt-load of other performers, most with questionable outfits if not acts, also met said geriatric. According to the Daily Mail, which, uh-huh is too a reputable news source (OK, I choked on that), Cyrus had the most daring outfit of the evening.  Because she was mostly nekkid.  Now, maybe I am just jaded with respect to shorts, but let us compare:

Gaga did a latex Elizabethan number - taking the revered symbol of the Brit monarchy and beginning of Queen rule, bondaging it up and performing in her Queen-Loves-Latex outfit before the current Queen.  I’d say that is pretty daring.  Gaga also played on a piano inspired by Dali (elephant legs from the Temptation of Saint Anthony) on a seat suspended from the rafters.  Also pretty daring.

Miley Cyrus, on the other hand, wore leather hot pants, gesticulated at her crotch and had back-up dancers who looked dangerously thin, if not dangerously old.  She also met the Queen in an orange prom dress that left her tiny tatters on display.  That is daring, I guess?  As in daring the Queen to backhand your sassy mouth, young lady, so go wash that paint off of your face!

Arguably, Cyrus was more “daring” in teh secksie sense, but TMIMO Gaga had “daring” in the bag in the thought-provoking sense.  The English language, isn’t it fun!

Anyhow, pictures of the non-Gagas after the jump.

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Remains unmolested

Remember how when Michelle Obama met the queen she, like, felt her up and stuff?  Well Lady Gaga met the Queen and while I have no confirmation that she molested the queen, I do have confirmation that she is totally fucking weird.

There is currently a 19 hour–yes NINETEEN HOUR–block of Lady Gaga videos, interviews and whatnot on some random cable channel.  I’ve been watching for about 7 minutes and I can’t tell if she’s growing on me or if I’m having a seizure.  I think… yep, it’s a seizure.  I better change the channel.  Anyone got a tongue depressor?

[See Gaga bow to the queen after the jump.]

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Best Video EVER!

How do you make a Lady Gaga video rock ballz? Add Eric Cartman and Christoper Walken, that’s how.

This has to win some sort of award.  They are just giving out Nobel Peace Prizes, someone get this on the short list for next year.

Linky-loos you can use.

Do you like movies?  Of  course you do.  Do you hate going to movies and being surrounded by chip chomping, bright ass iPhone texting, foolios?  Of course you do.  Then read this guide; it will help you get the most out of your movie-going experience.  Also it will help you reduce your dooshery.  Pajiba.

Did you know that Michael Jackson dies at the beginning of This is It? Sorry for the spoiler, bitches.  FourFour.

The cast of Glee is coming to a mall near you.  If you can make it, please beg Kurt to do the Single Ladies dance.   And ask that black chick if she’s the same black chick from School of Rock.  I’m too lazy to Google it.  Lainey Gossip.

Praise Breesus!  Can I get an amen and a Who Dat?  Nola.com.

Can I get a cheesesteak and a “How yous guys doin?”  Phillies take it back to the Bronx.  The Yankees suck.  Yeah, I said it.  What what?!  Philadelphia Inquirer.

Hugh Grant got wasted and tried to nail some Project Runway model.  He got Heismanned.  Somewhere Elizabeth Hurley is laughing.  Except she’s not even that hot anymore, so who cares?  Celebslam.

Are the Slumdog Milliokids getting too big for their saris?  Jezebel.

Would you like to see the 2009 Miss International Queen?  She’s a famous Japanese tranny and her camel toe is faaaaaaabulous!!  D-Listed.

I wish Lady Gaga would give-give me a fucking break.  Go Fug Yourself.

Heidi Klum does NOT fuck around on Halloween.  Why dress like a whore when you can dress like this?  I Don’t Like You In That Way.

For all you burgeoning writers out there, here’s some advice on asking for professional advice.  Fierce and Nerdy.

And that, squeeps, is how it is.

Countdown to Awesome in 3…2…1…

There are some great Christopher Walken impressions out there. Kevin Spacey does a good one. Kevin Pollack does a pretty dead on impression of him, but no one really captures the essence Christopher Walken like, well,  Christopher Walken.

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KeeblerKahn’s Photo Round Up

Lady Gaga's date to the VMAs was Kermit the Frog. My question is this: When did Kermit start acting like Jon Gosselin, and can we expect him to start wearing Ed Hardy clothes now? Lady Gaga better watch her back. Miss Piggy is going to be PISSED.

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Kanye?  Shut Your Cakehole.  Lady Gaga?  WTF!?!  Taylor?  Yawn.  Beyonce?  FTW.

Listen here, squeeple.  I watched the VMAs.  I’m still trying to figure out how to replenish the brain points I lost during those few hours last night.  As soon as I saw Taylor Swift arrrive in a fucking horse and carriage, I knew that I should expect repeated brain explosions over the course of the night.

Here are my quick thoughts on the shenanigans:

1. Russell Brand acted like a twat.  We get it.  You like to get laid.  One reference to your twig and two berries is one too many.

2. Kanye West is a doosh. He jumped on stage and acted the fool during the FIRST AWARD.   Jebus.  At least wait until the last half of the show when liquor and the extreme fuckery surrounding the whole affair might give you an excuse to act like such a jackhole.  Not a good weekend for black people with respect to fool actin’.

3. If Taylor Swift had actually sung that dumb ass song in a subway, she likely would have had various rotten fruits lobbed at her head.  Nonetheless, I felt badly for Taylor after Kanye burst on stage.  She looked like someone pulled the plug on her grandma.  (I’m looking at you, Obama!)

4. I was unaware that Eminem is still relevant.  Will the real Slim Shady please go away?

5. Cyndi Lauper still kicks ass.  As does Janet Jackson.

6. Lady Gaga showed up with Kermit the Frog, and looked like a moron.  And her performance was–how do you say?–fucking weird.  I get it.  You were making a statement about the paparazzi.  But, to their credit, when you walk around dressed like 120 pounds of hot crazy, you can’t expect the paps to leave you alone.  She had 5 different costume changes, each crazier than the last.  Also, hanging from the ceiling drenched in blood?  This ain’t Carrie, sweetie.  I get your message loud and clear: “I’m deranged.”  Yes, yes we know.  Now quit violating Kermit the Frog.

[Pictures, videos shot by YouTubers of their televisions, and fail after the jump.]

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The Most Important Literature Available To You

I drink the potion from Death Becomes Her and now I coochie coochie forever!

Skimming Rainbow Presents: How I Spent My Labor Day Weekend

• Charo: I yam estremly honor doobie at de tellehlo yearly leweh two touson nine! (Translation: I humped an innocent lady at 4:02.)

• Kim Kardashian: I finally located and secured the one celebrity friend who makes me look interesting? We do our makeup together for hours and hours?

• Judge Judy: David Hasselhoff peed on my leg and told me it’s raining.  Judges have to be able to uphold the law that they enforce. Do you see where I’m going with this, Hoff?

• Jesus: My child, I washed and buffed my sweet Escalade.

• WTF!?: I hung out with Kirsten Dunst in Japan. (Later we went out for drinks with O Noes! and Wharrgarbl, but as you might have guessed, Wharrgarbl got us kicked out everywhere we went.)

• Maggie Gyllenhaal: I talked about the paparazzi and walked around dressed as the love child of Diane Keaton and a flapper. Again.

• Mangled Old Barbie: I’ve been pretty depressed since Sar gave me that makeover with her Fiskars. So to make myself feel better, I donated my hair to Lady Gaga.

…And how did you spend your Labor Day, Squeeple?

Baby's inner monologue: WHAT THE FUCK!!! When they said there was a rich white woman here to see me, I thought they meant Angelina. Hell, even Madonna would be all right, but Paris friggin' Hilton, are you kidding me? I just dropped a load in my diaper and I still smell better than her. She smells like syphilis and spray tanner. I'm probably going to end up like that rat Tinkerbell. She'll carry me around in her purse and then forget me in Fred Segal.

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You’d better duck, Lady Gaga. My vagina is in a throwing mood.

NOW WITH MORE VIDEO GOODNESS!

Oh, Lady Gaga, you have narrowly avoided my vagina’s wrath (Why? Because I like sex, and I like booze, and I like a catchy tune), that is, you’ve avoided it UNTIL NOW. I was hoping against hope that, as an arteest (who claims to loves ze gays in a non-demeaning way BUT NOW I WONDER ABOUT THAT, TOO) you would be on MY side, and by that, I mean on the side of women, AKA, uh, you! Have you forgotten that on the arm of every gay man with a ticket to your show there are THREE women?

I understand that the term “feminism” has been weirdly muddled by people who don’t understand what feminism is, but while I ain’t no Vassar scholar, I think I can at LEAST explain that feminism= EQUALISM. For instance, how ’bout getting equal pay for equal work? How ’bout NOT being treated like you can’t speak for yourself in ANY situation (E.g., bill-paying, restaurant situations, bank heists). Lady Gaga, you’re newly rich AND you’re young–I understand that, right now, you don’t HAVE to understand the world the rest of us live in, but you DO have to appeal to your weird, possibly methamphetamine addicted public to sell your kind-of-okay-but-not-really records. And they are mostly, weirdly, women, despite your “Gays Only!” policy.

So here’s the moral: don’t bite the methamphetamine-addicted hand that feeds you, because that hand will die young and toothless and stop paying for your records (because they’re dead), and then you won’t get fed.

Video after the jump.

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Cate Blanchett attended the Armani fashion show in Paris, and spent the entire show wondering why she was sitting next to a sex doll.

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PS22 Chorus Sings Lady Gaga

Brace yourself for full on “Look at me, look at me!” quotes

Megan is in the July issue of British GQ.

“When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes. We get paid to feign attraction and love. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone, doing things people in a normal monogamous relationship would never do with anyone who’s not their partner. It’s really kind of gross.”

She then goes on to add my favorite quotes:

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The fat kid from Stand by Me is all growd’ up. Who would have ever guessed that he would grow up and marry a smoking hot super model. He clearly sold his soul to the Devil.

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Brooke Hogan hit the beach in a blue bikini that must have been made out of some sort of NASA space material. Top men in their field must have spent years working on this wondrous fabric that has the capability to bend light. Either that or there is some seriously strong dark wizardry at work here. I’m talking magic that makes Lord Voldemort look like Doug Henning. You can’t even see Brooke’s penis in that thing, or as she refers to it, her Johnsonville Brat sized clitoris.

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Lady Gaga: The Fame

I received The Fame for Christmas… last weekend. I gave it an obligatory listen.  (more…)