Linky-loos you can use.

Ok, who is going to buy me a mini-piggy?  Because one of these fuckers needs to be bought, put in a walking harness, and given to me right ::stomps foot:: NOW.  Via Daily Candy.

Seriously, Sarah Palin chaps my ass.  She’s a hypocrite with a side of doosh.  First she claims that those who question Obama’s birth certificate have a point (are we seriously still talking about this Birther Bullshit?) but then takes to her Facebook page like some dildouchey teenager and says she never really said it at all.  Sarah? Please do us all a favor and consider dying in a fire. Thank you. Huffington Post.

IDK. LOL. WTF!?! FTW.  Lamebook.

Little Richard has always been insane - whoooooooooooooooooooooooo!  BoingBoing.

McG is ruining our lives.  He’s ruining the Terminator franchise which means he’s ruining Christian Bale’s life, and for that McG must die in a fire.  I hope Bill Murray pierces McG with a lance before McG kills us all.  We don’t need 6 mothertruckin’ Terminator movies!  Stop it!  STOPTHEMADNESS!  (See what I did there?)   Pajiba.

UAE has been experiencing a downturn in heretofore ever-expanding economy.  Their solution?  Giant. LED. Phallus.  Gizmodo.

Make sure you are current!  Here is a decade of hipster evolution so you know if you’re passe.  Paste.

Man, I loves me some Jason Segel.  And now he’s gone and stuck his fuckstick in no man’s land.  And by “no man’s land” I mean “Lindsay Lohan’s lady cavern.”   (Yes, it’s normally “ladyhole” but that seems semantically incorrect when one is talking about that dirty Hohan.  Silly squeeple; you thought I’d make a sapphic joke.  I’m bobbing and weaving, squeeps.  Expect the unexpected.)  Litely Salted.

Tiger Woods was spreading his seed hither and yon with as many as nine women. NINE TIMES.  NINE.  (That’s a Bueller reference for all you noobs and/or whippersnappers.)  The Superficial.

If Katy Perry and Russell Brand have kids, I am pretty sure they would create some super-beast of annoying-ness (uh-huh, so too a word).  All I am saying is, let’s hope there are no buns in said oven until 2012 is firmly passed.  I’m Not Obsessed.

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I really thought they would die together.

Skimming Rainbow Presents: Teams

Being part of a team is an interesting alternative to accomplishing things alone. It isn’t always easy, nor does it always turn out to be right. But when you get just the right group, it can be amazing. Being an island is a little overrated. So team up! Maybe you’ll find yourself a little bit stronger, and your resources a little bit wider.

According to the internet this week…

• I hate that Jon and Hailey are officially over. I was so looking forward to seeing them next season on Tool Academy. Jon had already nailed the “Let me prove myself” speech.
• A bunch of kids formed a gang that successfully robbed celebrity houses.
• Ten pitchers (like for drinks) got together to make me suddenly feel like I really need a pitcher.
• Get one-upped until you feel so outranked that you need to validate your tastes by falling in love with someone at this hipster-only dating site.
• These young rappers would have fared better if they started their order with “two all beef patties.” McDonalds isn’t so into originality.
• Lindsay and Dina have joined forces against (the absolutely terrifying TMIMO) Michael Lohan. I guess a brush with the barrel of a water gun makes a woman re-prioritize.

…And who’s on your team this week, Squeeple?