We’re Not Purposely Refusing Your Comments. We Would Never.

*thanks to chelsea, for the heads-up.

Tax Edition

Does anybody remember when Obama said we could keep more of our paychecks earlier this year? They started taking out less tax and my check went up almost 20 bucks. Pretty cool right? Well, I just got my taxes done and that shit was not cool. I owe the government $2,000 because they have been taking less tax out of my checks. I didn’t ask them to start taking less, they did it on their own. Now I’m stuck with a crippling tax bill. I’m not a rich person, $50 is a lot of money to me. I don’t know where they get off doing this to people. What about the people who lost their jobs this year? How are they going to handle a huge tax bill? I would have been perfectly happy making $20 less a week to avoid this mess. Thanks Obama, you just completely screwed me.

Bow to the power of my cuteness!

Leno still looks like crap

I’ll be perfectly honest here, I have never sat through more than 5 minutes of Leno or Conan. Those types of shows just don’t appeal to me in any way. No Leno, Conan, Letterman, Fallon….. nothing. If I’m up that late I’m watching Adult Swim. For that reason I didn’t really pay much attention when the Late Night War began. However, I had to pay attention after awhile because it was all anybody was talking about. As I turned my attention to the war I noticed one thing: Leno is kind of an ass. Also, I can’t stand to look at him. His massive chin gives me nightmares. On the other end of the war Conan came out looking like late night Jesus. Dude is paying his staff six weeks of severance out of his own pocket. I thought gingers didn’t have souls. Does this mean South Park has been lying to me? I wouldn’t cry for Conan though, after this mess there will be a ton of people looking to give him a show.

Can I take your order?

If he could fly in real life this wouldn’t have happened

Nathan Petrelli, formerly known as Adrian Pasdar, was driving 90 miles per hour, swerving and just minding his own business on the 405 freeway this morning when some cop decided to pull him over. When the cop walked up to the cars window with his “I am the law” attitude he noticed that the car smelled like a frat house after a kegger. That’s when Johnny Law decided it was time for a field sobriety test. Nathan, I mean Adrian, wasn’t having any of that. After he refused to the test the police man slapped some cuffs on him and hauled his ass to jail. All it took was $15,000 and Adrian was on his way home. You might say $15,000 is a little high for bond and I would agree with you. Apparently if you say hell no to the field sobriety test they charge you a ass-ton of money to get out of jail. I guess the moral of the story is that if you are obviously drunk as hell and were stupid enough to drive don’t fight the sobriety test when your stupid ass gets pulled over.

Is this guy for real?

We all know Brittany Murphy died suddenly at a very young age. To the best of my knowledge the autopsy hasn’t even come back yet. This is not stopping her husband Simon Monjack from filing a lawsuit against Warner Brothers. Simon claims that Warner Brothers fired Brittany from Happy Feet 2 and that caused her to have a heart attack. Come again Simon? There are plenty of people that have been fired and to the best of my knowledge a 30 something year old woman wouldn’t have a heart attack because of it. I might be wrong but something about this just doesn’t sound right to me. Warner Brothers is firing back saying that they never even had a deal for Brittany to be part of Happy Feet 2. All of this kind of pisses me off. I never understood why she was with this guy in the first place. I figured “hey, maybe they just love each other” but the way he’s trying to make a quick buck off of her death really rubs me the wrong way. You’re suing movie studios? Really? Really? Your wife just died. You shouldn’t be worried about making millions off of Warner Brothers for some bullshit reason you pulled out of your ass. Getting fired from a movie gave her a heart attack? An unhealthy diet gives you a heart attack. Getting fired? Not so much.

Something Was Born

Yesterday was Thundersquee’s birthday. In honor of that I bring you kittens.

Copperfield Scores

As you may recall awhile back a woman accused David Copperfield of raping her on his private island. At the time I was thinking “what an assholes” but now I might be revoking his asshole card. The woman, Lacey Carroll, has just been charged with prostitution. There was an incident with another man that just came to light. It seems Lacey met the man in a bar and went back into his hotel room. After they started getting busy she told him to slip some cash into her purse. The man said hell no so Lacey called the cops and said that the guy raped her. Classy. When this came to light the prosecutors decided to drop the case against Copperfield and charged Lacey. I guess when Copperfield said she was trying to extort money out of him he was telling the truth. In light of this I and taking Copperfield’s asshole card and passing it to Lacey. It’s messed up to cry rape lady. Rape is a serious, horrible thing and you shouldn’t use it as a way to get what you want. Lacey is an asshole.

Lumber and crazy meet in the middle

It’s a Saturday afternoon in California and you find yourself at Home Depot shopping for a new faucet fixture. You are in isle 5 minding your own business when suddenly the loudspeaker crackles. You look up in surprise when Dude Looks Like a Lady and I Don’t want to Miss a Thing start pouring over the loudspeaker. This is what happened in a Home Depot in Rancho Mirage, CA this weekend. Apparently Steven Tyler’s crazy lead him to the holy place of home improvement when he felt the need to bless the people with a couple of his hits. Later, Tyler decided to suck helium and sign autographs. This is just freaking random. Only someone who is high as a kite or crazy as hell would do this. I love Steven Tyler.

Starring Gary Coleman and some person who can’t fight off little people

This week it was reported that Gary Coleman had went upside a bitches’ head or something and he was arrested for domestic assault. That report made me roll my eyes for two reasons. Reason one: Gary is a little ball of fury. I don’t know why the hell the guy is so angry all the time. Reason two: how does one get beaten by Gary Coleman? I don’t want to make fun of his size but I’m going to. All you have to do to stop Gary from beating you is put your hand on his head and fully extend your arm….dude wouldn’t be able to reach you.

Anyways, it turns out that Gary was not arrested for acting like an angry fool. His attorney says that he was arrested for a warrant he had for failing to appear in court for some other charge. This has not been a good couple of years for Gary. Did anyone else here watch him on divorce court awhile back? That was some sad stuff right there.

We’ve been away for awhile…

Not sure where things are going with Thundersquee right now but I thought I’d take a moment to stop by and say hello. I want to thank those of you that have been stopping by day after day to see if we have managed to fight off the zombie hordes. Truth be told, zombies did breach the gates and brains have been lost. It is uncertain if we will be able to find a cure for the zombie virus but I promise we’re not giving this bitch up without a fight. The hags do still exist even if it’s in a more fractured form. We still want to write and we still want to maintain the community we built here. Please stick with us while we figure out our game plan. I’m going to keep writing here in the meantime. I’m not going to be able to put up a ton of stuff….I have a day job. What I will promise is that I won’t leave you high and dry and there are other hags that want to continue to entertain you with our insanity as well. Stick with us Squee-ers. We are forming a game plan and all will be well soon.

Trapped in my own home

It’s a few days before Christmas and I find myself in a bad mood. Why? I can’t leave my house. It seems like every year people wait until the last possible second to go Christmas shopping and then all cram into every store. I just wanted to go walk around the mall for a little while, just to get out of the house. Was that possible? No. I got pushed, sneezed on and stepped on every moment I was there. I don’t deal well with crowds and I don’t like it when people I don’t know touch me. This is way I plan ahead and go shopping in August so I won’t have to brick somebody for the last whatever-it-is I want to get my family. I can’t be the only one who goes crazy around Christmas. What bothers you about the Christmas season?

Catch Us Up on You

A DUI judge???

File this under things that don’t make sense. Somehow Lindsay Lohan got a gold star from the judge overseeing her DUI probation. Yes, that Linday Lohan. The Lindsay Lohan who is constantly running around acting crazy. The one that clearly has some sort of drug or alcohol problem. What kind of probation is she on??

It’s not fair for me to assume that Lindsay is on drugs. It could be all that fake tanning stuff she uses; I’ve already proven that stuff will rot your brain. I don’t really know what the terms of her probation are and I’m to lazy to google it right now, but I’m pretty sure she hasn’t completely complied. I mean, I’ve known people on probation for DUI and usually they have a alcohol monitoring bracelet and they lose their license. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen pictures Lindsay drinking and driving since her DUI. But then again, she’s a celebrity so I’m sure her probation just limits her to 10 drinks a night and she can only do hard drugs on Fridays. Ah, to be famous.

Catch Us Up on You

So leave your camera at home

Axl Rose does not want you taking pictures of his lady friend. If you value your head you will remember this. A member of the paparazzi learned this lesson the hard way on Wednesday at LAX. He was snapping pictures of some woman nobody knows because she was walking with Axl when the woman decided that she wasn’t having any of that. When she started screaming at the photogs Axl came to the rescue by unleashing his fists of fury.

When are these stupid photographers going to learn that people get really pissed off when you just randomly take their picture? I don’t think celebrities should get in trouble when they decide to smack some asshole paparazzi. Can you imagine how annoying it would be to have cameras flashing at you every time you went out? I know it’s the price of fame or whatever but some of these celebrities can’t even go to the 7-11 for smokes and munchies without a swarm of cameras. I know if it was me there would be a point where I just couldn’t take it anymore and I’d flip out and brick a camera man in the face. Paparazzi are assholes.

Cord has sent his evil minions to destroy all things that keep you warm

Emails, phone calls and ….sex toys?

File this one under this bitch be crazy. Elenora Redmond must have been touched in some deep way by the movie The Craft. Yeah, that movie from like 12 years ago about the teenage witches. It seems that Elenora developed an obsession with Rachel True from the movie. So what’s a girl to do? She got her email address and phone number and sent her dirty messages. We’re talking dirty here; in one message she said she wanted to fuck her with a cobra . You can’t make this stuff up. When Elenora showed up to Rachel’s house on November 30th with a big ass sex toy Rachel was not amused and she called the police. Now Elenora is sitting in jail with $150,000 bail and a restraining order. Meanwhile, Rachel is stuck with a deep fear of cobras.

Sadly, he can no longer dance or golf

This morning Bryant Gumbel was filling in for Regis on the Live with Regis and Kelly show when Kelly asked him to dance. It was then that Bryant informed Kelly and the world that he has been seeking treatment for lung cancer. They took out part of his lung. I don’t watch Real Sports so I can’t say I’m a fan of Bryant but that doesn’t mean I’m not sad that he has lung cancer. Here’s hoping that Mr. Gumbel is able to recover quickly and with little pain.