And We’re Getting Stabby About It.

Welp, we thought we’d have this whole “Comments Section” iss-yew handled by now, but nope. We’re still figuring it out. Anyone know a helpful techie who loves to work for free?

In other news, everything sucks and the world* is a horrible place.

*Except for the parts of the world that produce ponycorns, chocolate, rainbows and you guys. We’re cool with those. They don’t suck.

A Valentine’s Day for for almost everyone

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WARNING! The following video contain five times your daily recommended dose of Squee!

I apologize for not being around much. I’ve been sick, but I’m feeling much better now.

No one cares

The fairy tale romance of Brooke Hogan and Stack$, her rapper wannabe boyfriend has come to an end. Feel free to take a moment to recover for the shock. I don’t know about you guys but I thought these two had a shot at a long and happy relationship. I’m talking about the kind of epic love that just doesn’t come around too often. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, Kayne West and his CAP LOCK KEY, Ben and Jerry. EPIC love stories one in all.

“Brooke Hogan and Stack$ have split but remain friends. He was a big part of her life for a very long time, and she still cares about him and his family dearly. Brooke would like to thank her fans for their kind words and sensitivity during the break-up.”

Fear not Hulkamaniacs, with her loving fathers help, and his sweet nothing whispers of ‘just the tip’, Brooke will come through this just fine. As a matter of fact, I think given time she will turn her pain into songs and release another album that no one wants buys.

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I hate this time of year….

So, I’m sick today. In my state of misery I can’t think of anything funny to write. I don’t know if anybody will be posting today but I wanted to let you know what’s going on in case there’s no content. Here’s hoping I’ll be well enough to rant in your general direction tomorrow.

Slightly NSFW due to brief animated horse peen

WARNING! Listening to this song more than once will lead to it getting stuck in your noggen.

If you decided not to watch it because of some cartoon horse dick,well then I better not show you where the lemonade is made. Sweet lemonade, Mmm sweet lemonade.

The award for the most suggestive movie poster about an underage female band goes to…

If you don’t know who The Runaways are, do yourself a favor and Google them.  If they were still around today they would skull fuck the Jonas Brothers and laugh at them as they ran home to their momma.

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Something Was Born

Yesterday was Thundersquee’s birthday. In honor of that I bring you kittens.

We’ve been away for awhile…

Not sure where things are going with Thundersquee right now but I thought I’d take a moment to stop by and say hello. I want to thank those of you that have been stopping by day after day to see if we have managed to fight off the zombie hordes. Truth be told, zombies did breach the gates and brains have been lost. It is uncertain if we will be able to find a cure for the zombie virus but I promise we’re not giving this bitch up without a fight. The hags do still exist even if it’s in a more fractured form. We still want to write and we still want to maintain the community we built here. Please stick with us while we figure out our game plan. I’m going to keep writing here in the meantime. I’m not going to be able to put up a ton of stuff….I have a day job. What I will promise is that I won’t leave you high and dry and there are other hags that want to continue to entertain you with our insanity as well. Stick with us Squee-ers. We are forming a game plan and all will be well soon.

Vic Ches-bale

Rest in peace, sir. Your talent shone brilliantly and your contributions to music were incredible.

Look no further than Guido-sexual stylin’.

This comes courtesy of MTV’s Jersey Shore.

May God have  mercy on our souls.

T Minus 1 days till Christmas

I’ve saved two of my favorite songs to finish up my Holiday countdown.

Sheri Easter - What Child Is This

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T Minus 8 days till Christmas

Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten our Jewish friends.

Adam Sandler - Hanukkah Song

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T Minus 11 days till Christmas

First up is Dolores O’Riordan and Westlife with The Little Drummer Boy.

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Let’s start things out this week with some audience participation. Feel free to ask Nick Hogan a question. I’ll get us started.

Hey Nick, how many spoiled narcissistic douchebags are in this photo?

OK, now you try. Trust me, it’s fun. Ask him anything.

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T Minus 12 Days Til Christmas

I like Christmas music. With the exception of one Christmas song that I think should be purged from recorded history. The song is Christmas Shoes by a Christian group of fart-knocking douchebags called Newsong. Now I’m not going to post the video for it. I’m only bringing it up on the first day of the count down to get it out of the way.

I think Newsong should be dragged into the Applebee’s parking lot for a public bricking.  The song actually makes me angry when I hear it. It has to be the most emotionally manipulative piece of crap to ever be put to music. Well it turns out Patton Oswalt and I feel the same way about the song.

You might want to be careful watching this at work. Patton uses some naughty words.

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Zoe Bale-dana

Ganja Gourmet.  Stonier than the Frugal Gourmet.  Pairs Well With Fraggle Rock.

I’m packing my bags and moving to Denver y’all.  Why?  Ganja Gourmet, a new restaurant serving weed-based cuisine opened on Wednesday.  You can munch while you have the munchies!

A medical marijuana dispensary in Denver has decided to get creative and make the business into a full-service restaurant that caters to those who need to use medicinal marijuana to ease physical ailments.

The owner of Ganja Gourmet located at 1810 South Broadway Avenue said the restaurant will “aim to help distribute medicinal marijuana to those licensed to have it and provide an atmosphere where patients can visit with one another in a safe environment.”

Ganja Gourmet plans to offer lasagna, gourmet pizza, jambalaya, paella, chocolate mousse and flavored cheesecakes, among other gourmet dishes.

I’m calling the Kitchen Bitch right now.  Thundersqweed!

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Season finale alert. Watch or wake up to a brick in the face.

Mind, prepare to be blown

Warning, if you are not a fan of spoilers, then just read and don’t watch the clips. If you are an impatient hussy like me, then enjoy.

This Sunday is the season finale of Dexter. I feel strongly enough that you should watch this that I am writing this alert despite funger (My i’s are getting harder to hit minus bird flipping finger) pain. As far as the Emmys go, they just need to shut that shit down because John Lithgow is winning. He has taken creepiness to an all new level and I LIKE IT. He has exposed the bowels of his soul (as well as his ass) to bring us a killer scary enough to even scare Dexter.

This season was all twists and turns and ever show had a major WTF? moment. If you are lucky enough to have Showtime but have abused this privilege by not watching this show, I CAN SEE THE THIRD NIPPLE OF YOUR SOUL. For shaaaaaaame. You have plenty of time to catch up and join us, and by “us” I mean “meand my wine bladder” for the finale of all finales.

We watched 11 episodes of layers being stripped away, and what was underneath was only more disturbing than the layer before it… but in a good way.

Some reasons you should watch this finale:

Reason numero uno

You risk a brick in the face if you don’t.

Hello face, meet brick.

This could be your destiny.

Me: “Ohhh, you missed, Dexter? I’m not mad at ya so no worries. Funny to run into you; I’m meeting a friend and I want to introduce you to him.”

You: “Ohhhh your friend just hit me in the face.”

Me: No shit, he’s a brick and that’s his job. You just got served, brick style.”

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Why do these people get to keep sucking our air?

Douche and Doucher

Why would either of these fools think any collaboration between them would lead to anything but regret?

“In a new interview with Access Hollywood, Michael spoke about his friend-turned-foe after he was subpoenaed by TLC to testify in the network’s breach of contract suit against Jon.

According to Michael, he had reached a business agreement with Jon, which TLC claims may have violated their exclusivity pact with the “Plus 8” dad.

“I kept him out of harm’s way when there were paparazzi around … and he stabbed me in the back,” Michael told Access. “When you open your door to somebody and you give them a safe haven and a place to go and then they turn around and bite the hand that feeds or stab you in the back, that doesn’t sit well with me.”

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