Doosh Thunderdome: It’s votin’ time.

So, whaddya reckon?

Serena Williams?

I'm a doosh in a catsuit!

Delonte West?

I'm a shirtless doosh!

Terrelle Pryor?

I'm a doosh in a horseshoe!

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Terrelle Pryor: Doosh Dossier

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day. Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009. Stay classy, squeeple!

Next up are Serena Williams, Delonte West and Terrelle Pryor or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the doosh athletes who shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Terrelle Pryor

Okay, some people will say you should cut this guy some slack because he’s young.  But I say if you’re old enough to serve our country in a friggin’ war, you should be old enough to put together a few coherent thoughts.  And no, saying “everyone kills people” is not a coherent thought.

To be fair though, that quote doesn’t quite do his dooshiness justice.  First of all, he was defending Mike Vick.  That was mistake No. 1.  Mistake No. 2 follows in its entirety:

“Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever.”

Also, here is a video of him doing what he does best:  Inserting his foot into his mouth.

We are left speechless from this ridiculousness, when HE is the one who shouldn’t be talking.  And this makes us angry.

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Delonte West: Doosh Dossier

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day. Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009. Stay classy, squeeple!

Next up are Serena Williams, Delonte West and Terrelle Pryor or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the doosh athletes who shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Delonte West 

For those of you who don’t follow the NBA with any sort of regularity, let me just tell you:  This man is kind of psychotic (though in a good way).

Oh sure, he’s a mercurial player at the point guard position, and a true difference-maker for a Cleveland team that was simply Lebron and the seven dwarfs before he arrived.  But can he really get his sh** together and help Cleveland win a championship?  That we’re not so sure about.

The reason for this are manyfold, though most of them have something to do with him being a complete nutbar.

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Serena Williams: Doosh Dossier

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day. Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009. Stay classy, squeeple!

Next up are Serena Williams, Delonte West and Terrelle Pryor or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the doosh athletes who shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Serena Williams 

Finding words to decribe her epic rant on a female line judge – a rant that ultimately cost her a U.S. Open championship — isn’t exactly easy.  Especially after our own stopthemadness did such a great job of summing up earlier this year (Serena Williams will kill you).  So perhaps video will tell the tale best:

Among the jewels she blessed the world with, perhaps the most damning of all was the initial threat itself:  “If I could, I would take this fucking ball and shove it down your fucking throat.”

That’s the kind of thing we might say to someone if they’re threatening our family or raping our sister.  The calm-headed Williams used it during a tennis match.

Charming.

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Doosh Thunderdome: It’s votin’ time.

So, whaddya reckon?

Rush Limbaugh?

I'm a doosh with a cigar!

Megan Fox?

I'm a doosh with a stupid tattoo!

Sarah Palin?

I'm a four-eyed doosh!

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Megan Fox: Doosh Dossier

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day. Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009. Stay classy, squeeple!

First up are Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, and Megan Fox or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the Pig, the Lipstick, and the Pig in Lipstick.

Megan Fox

How dooshy is Megan Fox?  So dooshy that our own KeeblerKahn has been grappling with her for months. But she kept fighting back.  She floats like a butterfly, stings like a doosh.  Frustrated, Keebler even declared A Day Without Megan Fox, earlier this summer.  Megan Fox was unmoved; even that didn’t stop her.

Later that summer, we thought maybe she would undermine us by dressing real classy-like.   Maybe she’ll de-dooshify.  We all crossed our fingers.

We were, of course, fucking idiots.  in spec-doosh-ular fashion, she turned down the opportunity to star with Daniel Craig in a Bond movie.

Then she stupidly informed us she might be schizo (doing a great disservice to those who actually ARE schizo).

And then she railed against Michael Bay, the one dude who saw through the doosh and helped make her a star (even if, as Lily the Pink noted,  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was a bowl of stupid.)

Finally in a spectacular nuclear holocaust of doosh, she went and did an interview with Rolling Stone during which her cup of doosh ranneth over.

Keebler wants her to STFU.

Stopthemadness wants to punch her in the vagina.  (Oh and there’s the faux appearance anxiety and the “ZOMG!, am I ugly?” bullshit.)

Lisa(#1), after pointing out her diarrhea of the mouth earlier this year, adds these doosh points:

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SARAH PALIN: Doosh Dossier

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day.  Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009.  Stay classy, squeeple!

First up are Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, and Megan Fox or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the Pig, the Lipstick, and the Pig in Lipstick.

Sarah Palin

(1)she believes in death panels–you betcha!;

(2) she doesn’t care about Asian people;

(3) she needs The Shat (Bill Shatner) to interpret her nonsense;

(4) she quit her job;

(5) she gets burned in effigy;

(6) her daughter’s baby daddy doesn’t like her;

(7) she has dumb supporters;

(8) she even pisses off Fox News!

And Lisa(#1) specifically, raises these doosh points:

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RUSH LIMBAUGH: Doosh Dossier 

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day.  Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009.  Stay classy, squeeple!

First up are Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, and Megan Fox or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the Pig, the Lipstick, and the Pig in Lipstick.

Rush Limbaugh

(1) he’s oh so easy to dislike;

(2) he rules RNC Chairman Michael Steele with a pudgy oxy-filled fist;

(3) he thinks Mexico tried to infect us with pig AIDS;

(4) he makes assholic statements about Sonia Sotomayor and her heritage;

(5) he makes dickish comments about Henry Louis Gates, Jr. being a black militant;

(6) he inspires WTF!?-ism with his musings on  Tiger Woods;

(7) he thinks people who exercise are fucking up the health care system;

(8) he blames Obama for Mark Sanford’s affair;

(9) he blames Obama for Michael Jackson’s death;

(10) he is a racist fuckwit;

How dooshy do you think Limbaugh is?  Ponder the case we’ve made throughout the year, and add your own musings in the comments section.

(Stay tuned throughout the day as we make our case for Sarah Palin and Megan Fox.)

Put on your protective doosh gear, squeeple.

Camel vs. Plastic Bin: THUNDERDOME!!!

Oh hello! I'm a camel! What are you? A bin? Nice to meet you, Bin!

Why are you being so coy, Bin!? I just want to put you in my mouth.

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Bamboo Kid Version

In my last Video Thunderdome, I described part of my early twenties as a frame of reference for “Come On Eileen.”
This time, I’d like to take you a little further back, chirruns.

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Because Sarah keeps her promises, yo

Over the weekend y’all voted for Dexy’s Midnight Runners’ version of Come On Eileen over the Save Ferris’ version. (Although, nobody claimed that the  Save Ferris was teh suck, either!)
I’d promised a bonus video once the choice had been made, and I ain’t no welsher. Not only am I delivering your bonus, but your bonus comes with an added bonus! Because IT’S ALSO A MONDEGREEN!

YOU get a mondegreen video! YOU get a mondegreen video! EVERYBODY GETS A MONDEGREEN VIDEO!!!

Too Ra Loo Edition

Okay, folks. I have no precedent for this particular Thunderdome, except that this song makes me happy in my pants.

Let me tell you a little about it, kids. I first heard this song in 1982, at the tender age of eight, and immediately wanted to A) dance and sing and do whatever eight year olds do when they’re so happy they could ’splode, B) learn how to play the fiddle and C) make that weird guy who sings it - whom I will always know as “Dexy” but whose name is really Kevin Rowland - fall in love with me and re-christen me “Eileen.” What. I’M IRISH. It totally could’ve happened.

Fast forward fifteen years to 1997- now I’m a 23 year old girl, who has been heavily influenced by The Specials, Fishbone, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, et cetera. Ska, in any form - even the “pop” kind, made me pogo my panties off. So I’m out at a club in little Portland, Maine and all of a sudden I’m hearing the familiar strains of “Come On Eileen” - EXCEPT THIS VERSION’S SKA!
What do I do? Which one do I pick? CAN THERE BE ONLY ONE “COME ON EILEEN?”

And that is why I’m here now. I’m putting them in the Thunderdome, people. YOU’RE gonna have to choose WHICH ONE WILL COME OUT ALIVE.

Oh! And there’s a bonus! I have something special to post when the winner is declared. IF YOU CAN CHOOSE ONE!

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A Tribute to Michael Jackson

Yesterday, Michael Jackson passed away at the age of 50. This Video Thunderdome! is a tribute to Michael Jackson, the legendary musician. Jackson’s personal life was a train wreck of scandal and controversy. I’m not excusing him for his actions in life. I think he got away with a lot of things because of who he was, but I’m not here to rehash that part of his life.

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The Muppet Show

This week we are going back to one of the best variety shows to ever be on TV.  When it aired, The Muppet Show had some of the biggest stars lining up to get appear on the show. If the show still were on air today, it would have the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, and Lady Gaga performing. Thankfully it’s not around anymore, so we won’t have to sit through that crap.  Nobody wants to see Kermit asking Miley about the new Hannah Montana movie. You know the Jonas Brother would have Scooter in a purity ring by the end of the show. And let’s not even consider what Lady Gaga would do to Miss Piggy.

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Lady Madonna Edition

So how do you like your Madonna? Do you like the young pop princess from the 1980s or the mature diva of the new century. I have to admit that I really don’t get the appeal of Madonna anymore. I’ve liked some of her music, mostly her 1980s stuff and some of the 1990s music.

I got burned out on the Madonna machine. Every new album had to have its own controversy or some sort of spectacle to go along with it. It got to the point you could tell when she was getting ready to release a new album by how she acted in front of the cameras.  Once it got to that point I just lost interest in her.

I blame Madonna for laying the groundwork to celebrity whoredom. Madonna’s the talent to back it up, she has had a great career. The problem is people like Paris Hilton and the Pratt-Douchebags who have picked up on her strategy and don’t have any talent to back it up. Can’t sing or act? No problem, just be sure you get your picture taken a lot and learn the art of the sound bite. That’s neither here nor there for the sake of this Thunderdome I guess, but I point the finger at you Madonna.

So, how do you like her?

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Ukulele Battle

This week’s Video Thunderdome! is a little different. This week, the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain will be taking on Jake Shimabukuro. Chances are you have no clue who they are. A lot of people don’t know who they are and that is too bad.

First up is Jake Shimabukuro. Jake is a ukulele version of Eric Clapton and Jimmi Hendrix rolled in to one. This guy can rock a ukulele like nobody’s business. As you are watching this video, keep an eye on his right hand. The video isn’t sped up, he really is playing that fast.

Next up is The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. They have a ton of videos on YouTube that are worth checking out. You can see their version of the Isaac Hayes song Shaft here. It’s definitely worth a look. For this Thunderdome, it’s time to crank out Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit.

K.D. Lang kicked Joss Stone’s ass last week to come out on top, as well she should have. Give this week’s challengers a look and cast your vote.

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iPod Edition

I’ve been having some computer problems this week and haven’t been able to get my YouTube fix. So for this week’s Video Thunderdome!, I decided to let my iPod choose who enters the dome.

Normally, I spend some time poking around on YouTube watching music videos until I find two I want for Video Thunderdome! This week, I wasn’t able to watch any video of any kind, and let me tell you, it sucked. But, I figured I owed it to my four of five loyal viewers to get something up. So I set my iPod to shuffle and the first two songs to play enter the Thunderdome.

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Happy Birthday Cher Edition

Cher turned 62 this week, so in honor of the original cougar’s birthday, we are having a Cher vs. Cher Video Thunderdome!

I would have liked to post the video for Half Breed by Sonny and Cher but I can’t find it on YouTube anymore. I found it here. You should check it out. Depending on how you look at it, it’s Cher at her sexiest or raciest.

I decided to take another song from her Sony and Cher days, Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.

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A Double Shot of 80s Cheese

This week’s videos I think speak for themselves on the awesomely badness that was the 1980s music video. Be warned, these two videos contain enough 80s cheese to make you not poop for a week.

It’s Baltimora vs. Hall and Oates

Let the killing begin!

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Mammarian Grammarian Edition

Ye asked, and ye shall receive! This week’s Thunderdome!!! pits self-proclaimed busty genius Megan Fox vs. self-proclaimed busty genius Scarlett Johansson. This match has been due ever since Fox publicly laid the smack down in Elle Magazine, accusing Scarlett of using “fancy SAT soundin’ word things.”

Far be it from Thundersquee! to assume that beauty and intelligence are mutually exclusive. There are several women in Hollywood who are pleasing to the eyes, the ears, and the grey matter. But do these two really fit the bill? Let’s see how these two stack up in the ‘Dome.

BRAIN FIGHT!!!

Scarlett Johansson vs. Megan Fox

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