The sweet, comforting edition

Sometimes during the stress and hubbub of the holidays, something quick, easy and chocolatey is really the only solution to combatting in-laws, Christmas cards and inclement weather.

Try this bittersweet chocolate and pistachio fudge for a surefire pick-me-up.

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The savory side of Christmas

So it’s Christmas week, squeeps - and you’re likely in the midst of holiday parties and preparations for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Here’s an appetizer that takes almost no time to  make - and pairs great with those coquitos.

Caramelized Vidalia Onion and Feta Tartlets, anyone?

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Put on your yarmulke

It’s time for Chanukah, y’all.  The Festival of Lights starts tomorrow at sundown, and the Kitchen Bitch wants you prepared.

And what’s more emblematic of Chanukah than latkes?  They’re absurdly easy to make and taste fan-fricking-tastic.

Better yet, why not throw a Chanukah party? (more…)

Ramy’s Advent Edition

It’s December, and Christmakwanzakuh is nearing with a frightening speed.

Thanksgiving at Chez KB was a raucous affair, complete with Lisa #1′ s boozy punch and STM’s attempts to eat us out of house and home.

(Incidentally, she failed. I did warn her not to underestimate my ability to churn out massive amounts of food.)

And Mr. Lisa #1 was disappointed that we didn’t create a holocaust with a turkey fryer accident.  But hey, NFL Guy and I are pros at frying large pieces of poultry in a vat of 4 gallons of seething peanut oil with a propane tank nearby.

Squeer Ramy had asked for eggnog recipes.  In lieu of possible salmonella, though, I want to offer up coquito.

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Turkey, Two Ways

First up - the thermite equivalent of pressure cooking your turkey:

Second, how NOT to fry your turkey:

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!

A Very Bitchin’ Thanksgiving, Part 8: A Very Veggie Holiday

Thanksgiving is nigh, y’all.

Each day until then, I’ll be posting recipes to help you fine-tune your Turkey Day menu.

We all know that Thanksgiving is a marathon of cooking, rather than a sprint.  And that marathon begins tonight at Chez KB/NFL Guy.

(Le sigh.)

But what if you’re a vegetarian or a vegan?  Tofurkey gets old, lambs.

After the jump, a menu sans meat.

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A Very Bitchin’ Thanksgiving, Part 7: Dressing Up

Thanksgiving is nigh, y’all.

Each day until then, I’ll be posting recipes to help you fine-tune your Turkey Day menu.

We all know that Thanksgiving is a marathon of cooking, rather than a sprint.

Behold: dressings to make your mouth water…

…like oyster dressing, with spicy, briny flavors, a traditional southern cornbread dressing, and a shiitake mushroom stuffing bursting with fresh herbs.

All three recipes are after the jump, lambs. (Vegetarians can substitute in vegetable broth in the latter two recipes.)

What’s on your Thanksgiving menu, y’all?

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A Very Bitchin’ Thanksgiving, Part 6: A little something sweet

Thanksgiving is nigh, y’all.

Each day until then, I’ll be posting recipes to help you fine-tune your Turkey Day menu.

We all know that Thanksgiving is a marathon of cooking, rather than a sprint.

Finally!  A little something for the sweet tooth: pecan pie cheesecake and spiced pumpkin pie in a phyllo crust.

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A Very Bitchin’ Thanksgiving, Part 5: Sides, sides, everywhere are sides

Thanksgiving is nigh, y’all.

Each day until then, I’ll be posting recipes to help you fine-tune your Turkey Day menu.

We all know that Thanksgiving is a marathon of cooking, rather than a sprint. 

You won’t find any green bean casserole here, lambs - just tasty sides.

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A Very Bitchin’ Thanksgiving, Part 4: Cranberries abound

Thanksgiving is nigh, y’all.

Each day until then, I’ll be posting recipes to help you fine-tune your Turkey Day menu.

We all know that Thanksgiving is a marathon of cooking, rather than a sprint.  But while cranberry sauce is easily found at the grocery store, it’s ridonkulously easy to make.

Tomorrow I’ll post a double-shot of sides and desserts, some dressing recipes over the weekend (hey, it’s a special occasion!) and on Monday I’ll post some turkey options and some vegan/vegetarian meal ideas.  On Tuesday, I’ll post some ideas for using leftovers. And on Wednesday?  Well, this Bitch will be cooking like a madwoman before picking Stopthemadness up from the airport.

Sound good?

Good.  Let’s talk cranberries. (more…)

A Very Bitchin’ Thanksgiving, Part 3: Lagniappe and a Poll

Thanksgiving is nigh, y’all.

Each day until then, I’ll be posting recipes to help you fine-tune your Turkey Day menu.

So we’ve covered hors d’oeuvres and cocktails, but some of you are clamoring for a little something extra.  In Louisiana, that’s called “lagniappe.”

So after the break, you’ll find some additional goodies - but here’s a poll to solicit some feedback on what you’d like to see next,lambs.

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A Very Bitchin’ Thanksgiving, Part 2: Cocktails

Thanksgiving is nigh, y’all.

Each day until then, I’ll be posting recipes to help you fine-tune your Turkey Day menu.

I’m sorry this is so late - it’s been one of those days.  Those days require quiet contemplation on the couch with a glass of Malbec, lest the Kitchen Bitch become homicidal and throw a precisely sharpened Jimmy Choo at someone.

We all know that Thanksgiving is a marathon of cooking, rather than a sprint.  Cocktails will make your guests (or even you) much, much happier while dinner cooks.

Then again, a good cocktail can fix most anything. (more…)

A Very Bitchin’ Thanksgiving, Part 1: Appetizers

Thanksgiving is nigh, y’all.

Each day until then, I’ll be posting recipes to help you fine-tune your Turkey Day menu.

Let the games begin - and let’s talk appetizers.

We all know that Thanksgiving is a marathon of cooking, rather than a sprint.  Preparing some appetizers in advance to offer your guests can take loads of pressure off of you as a host(ess) as dinner finishes cooking.

Here’s what I’ll be serving at Chez KB on Thanksgiving Day: spiced pecans and white bean dip with homemade pita chips. (more…)

The meat eaters’ edition

Okay, so the subheader isn’t entirely accurate.  I mean, yes, there’s meat in this dish, but I had already planned to post this recipe prior to my need to punch Natalie Portman’s logic FAIL in the babymaker.

::fist pump::

Last week’s slow cooker recipe was a win for y’all, seemingly, so I’m going that route again today.  NFL Guy and I will hosting house guests this weekend who will be in New Orleans for Voodoo Fest (squee!), and I needed to have an easy, tasty dinner for tonight.

Here’s what’s cooking at Chez Kitchen Bitch: Slow Cooker Beef Guinness Stew.

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The bonus edition

It’s autumn, and Halloween is just around the corner.  Here’s a quick recipe to help get you into the spirit of the season.  Your house will fill with the aromas of fall, and you’ll love noshing on these as you curl up on the couch to watch a marathon of scary movies.

Why not make these iced pumpkin cookies tonight?

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Comfort food for a blustery fall

A couple of weeks ago an exhausted Kitchen Bitch asked for your input on the types of recipes you’d like to see - and a couple of you asked for vegetarian or vegan options.

Easily enough done, lambs.

Autumn is definitely here (though it’s, erm, 81 outside here in the Crescent City), and most of long for comforting options that don’t require 2 hours of prep and cooking time, right?

So this week, why not try a vegetarian shepherd’s pie? (more…)

Crockin’ the pot, week 1

You asked for slow cooker recipe options, so this week the Bitch is kicking off with a personal favorite - Thai Peanut Chicken.

It’s ridonkulously easy - with only 10 minutes’ worth of prep time -  and your house will smell divine when you come home from your day of being fabulous, Squeers.

Who loves you?

Why yes, yes we do. (more…)

Hey, you asked.

Because y’all are totes magoats my favorite, I compiled your feedback from last week. 

This week, we’re going for earthy, fall flavors - that’s right:

Risotto with Butternut Squash, Gorgonzola and Toasted Pecans

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Go forth and offer your input

Fall is upon us, y’all, and the Bitch wants to know - what kinds of recipes do you want to see?

Easy ones? Cheap ones? Vegan ones? Fancy, romantical ones?

We love our Squeers!, so we want your feedback. :)

Damn, this work thing is hard.

Sorry for my AWOLishness on Teh Recipes, folks.  I’ve been putting in some mayjah hours at work and on NFL Guy’s Eyeblack Odyssey, and frankly, I’ve barely had time to cook.

So in that spirit, here’s the easiest, fastest, most wholesome dinner recipe I can recommend: spicy black bean soup.

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