T Minus 1 days till Christmas

I’ve saved two of my favorite songs to finish up my Holiday countdown.

Sheri Easter - What Child Is This

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Time to stick it to the boss

I’m just going to cut to the chase this week.  My 5 year-old niece who I love beyond words has gotten me sick again around Christmas for the second year in a row.  For the sake of this post we’ll call her Patient Zero. If she does it one more year, I think we are going to look into sealing her in a plastic bubble for the holidays.

She infected me with what I can only assume is the Elementary school version of Captain Trips. So before I slip back into a fever dream, here are your time wasters.

Game 1. Zombie Hooker Nightmare

Game 2: Santa’s Sleigh Bomber

Go play. Rinse, repeat.

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T Minus 2 days till Christmas

Songs for the naughty and the nice.

Twisted Sister - Oh Come All Ye Faithful

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There, there, squeeps. Let it out. It’ll all be over soon enough.

By popular request, (and by “popular request,” I mean, “at the request of TheHobo“), the Thundersquee! Overlords are providing you a chance to vent about the holidays or whatever it is that may be pissing you off.  Crowded malls?  Complain to us.  Pissed off about a blizzard?  Tell us about it.  Is Uncle Joe a bit of close talker and has halitosis?  Let us hear it.  Is Aunt Emily’s little crumbsnatchin’ kids stealing money from your purse?  Give her my number and tell her I won’t tell as long as she gives me half.

Bitch.  Moan.  Cry.  Laugh.  Drink.  And then drink some more.  That’s what we’re here for.  We’re squeepin’ it real.

Trapped in my own home

It’s a few days before Christmas and I find myself in a bad mood. Why? I can’t leave my house. It seems like every year people wait until the last possible second to go Christmas shopping and then all cram into every store. I just wanted to go walk around the mall for a little while, just to get out of the house. Was that possible? No. I got pushed, sneezed on and stepped on every moment I was there. I don’t deal well with crowds and I don’t like it when people I don’t know touch me. This is way I plan ahead and go shopping in August so I won’t have to brick somebody for the last whatever-it-is I want to get my family. I can’t be the only one who goes crazy around Christmas. What bothers you about the Christmas season?

Santa is a little different in the Netherlands

I became a fan of David Sedaris a few years ago. I’ve read most  of his books and have sought out his audio reading of his work. Six to Eight Black Men is one of my favorite pieces from him.

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T Minus 3 days till Christmas

The Corrs - Happy Christmas (War Is Over)

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T Minus 4 days till Christmas

Time to make the Yuletide Gay with the London Gay Men’s Chorus:

Coming Out at Christmas

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T Minus 9 days till Christmas

Carrie Underwood - Oh Holy Night

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T Minus 10 days till Christmas

Kylie Minogue - Santa Baby. Hands down one of the sexist performances there is of this song. I love the way she sings it.

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Forget holiday cheer for everyone else, you go on and get yours!

If this is the face you're hoping for, read on!

I have always liked the holidays - seeing the fam, eating too much, drinking teh boozay NOG - pretty good stuff.  Heck, I even like the shopping and gift giving.  Generally.  But somehow, usually through marriage but sometimes through work, each and every one of us is obligated to exchange gifts with an asshat.  An asshat that gives you a fruitcake or some mixed nuts or some shit like that when you spent time and effort picking out something the hozer would like.  What is a normal, decent person to do?  Sometimes it can be difficult to be thoughtless.  Well, dear Squeers, we have come to the rescue.  We have put together a list of 10 crappy items that are sure to passive aggressively put the screws to the asshat.  That’s right, a gift that is just nice enough to force them to say “thanks!” but so crappy they will stew about it well into the new year.

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