George Michael dies

Rest in peace, good sir.

George Michael, the man doing a nationally syndicated sports highlight show before “Sportscenter” had even grown pubes, has died according to the Washington Post and DCRTV.com.  He had been battling cancer over the past two years.

Michael, a longtime Washington D.C. sports anchor, rose to fame nationally thanks to his syndicated program, “The George Michael Sports Machine”, an edgy (for the time) look at the week in sports.

I can’t tell you how many years I spent watching this program (every Sunday night, after the NFL had run its weekly course), and this is a very sad loss for me.  What makes it sadder is the man’s apparent integrity and honor. 

Geez, can you imagine Rich Eisen or Chris Berman doing that?  Me neither.

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Doosh Thunderdome: It’s votin’ time.

So, whaddya reckon?

Serena Williams?

I'm a doosh in a catsuit!

Delonte West?

I'm a shirtless doosh!

Terrelle Pryor?

I'm a doosh in a horseshoe!

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Terrelle Pryor: Doosh Dossier

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day. Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009. Stay classy, squeeple!

Next up are Serena Williams, Delonte West and Terrelle Pryor or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the doosh athletes who shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Terrelle Pryor

Okay, some people will say you should cut this guy some slack because he’s young.  But I say if you’re old enough to serve our country in a friggin’ war, you should be old enough to put together a few coherent thoughts.  And no, saying “everyone kills people” is not a coherent thought.

To be fair though, that quote doesn’t quite do his dooshiness justice.  First of all, he was defending Mike Vick.  That was mistake No. 1.  Mistake No. 2 follows in its entirety:

“Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever.”

Also, here is a video of him doing what he does best:  Inserting his foot into his mouth.

We are left speechless from this ridiculousness, when HE is the one who shouldn’t be talking.  And this makes us angry.

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Delonte West: Doosh Dossier

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day. Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009. Stay classy, squeeple!

Next up are Serena Williams, Delonte West and Terrelle Pryor or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the doosh athletes who shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Delonte West 

For those of you who don’t follow the NBA with any sort of regularity, let me just tell you:  This man is kind of psychotic (though in a good way).

Oh sure, he’s a mercurial player at the point guard position, and a true difference-maker for a Cleveland team that was simply Lebron and the seven dwarfs before he arrived.  But can he really get his sh** together and help Cleveland win a championship?  That we’re not so sure about.

The reason for this are manyfold, though most of them have something to do with him being a complete nutbar.

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Serena Williams: Doosh Dossier

This year has visited a groundswell of doosh upon the hapless heads of Hags and Squeeple alike. A torrential outpouring of vinegar so vast in scope and relentless in attack that it can relate to only this: the countless acts of dooshery, douchestacity, and douchebagelry with which we, in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, have been forced to reckon. It ain’t pretty people. We’ve had Kanye Interruptus; Carrie Preach-jean; Jon “Ed Hardy” Gosselin; Rush Oxylimbaugh; Glenn Crazy Eyes Beck; and the list goes on.

Here’s how it will work. For the next couple of weeks, we will recount some of the dooshes catalogued in our year-long category aptly titled “Doosh Watch 2009.” We will then pit the dooshes against each other in the Thunderdome. And you, dear squeeperson, will vote for your least favorite doosh, or-if you prefer a phrase more semantically accurate-the dooshiest doosh as between the dooshes.

Put on your protective goggles, squeeples. You do NOT want to look any of these dooshes in the eye.

So here’s what you do: Assess the dooshery based on our prior blog posts throughout the year and any independent knowledge you may have of a particular doosh’s dooshiness. And then vote! It’s as easy as saying… something that’s easy to say.

We will provide a doosh dossier on each of three Doosh of the Year Nominees throughout the day. Then at the end of the day (8 p.m. PST-ish) that day, we will open the polls for voting. You vote for the dooshiest of the three. And at the end of the doosh round robin, we will pit our final three nominees against each other and award a Giant Bag of Doosh to our Douche of 2009. Stay classy, squeeple!

Next up are Serena Williams, Delonte West and Terrelle Pryor or as we at Thundersquee! like to call them, the doosh athletes who shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Serena Williams 

Finding words to decribe her epic rant on a female line judge – a rant that ultimately cost her a U.S. Open championship — isn’t exactly easy.  Especially after our own stopthemadness did such a great job of summing up earlier this year (Serena Williams will kill you).  So perhaps video will tell the tale best:

Among the jewels she blessed the world with, perhaps the most damning of all was the initial threat itself:  “If I could, I would take this fucking ball and shove it down your fucking throat.”

That’s the kind of thing we might say to someone if they’re threatening our family or raping our sister.  The calm-headed Williams used it during a tennis match.

Charming.

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Heisman finalists vs. Super heroes edition

You ever notice that someone in sports looks like someone else?  This happens to me all the time, so I thought I’d share my observations to determine whether I was a.) On to something; b.) Off my rocker; or c.) Way too bored.

This week, as I watched the Heisman Trophy finalists flash across Sportscenter, I couldn’t help noticing some of them held more than a passing resemblance to some of my favorite super heroes … or more specifically, their representations in film and TV.

So with that in mind, here are my latest lookalike submissions for your amusement.

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Five sports-type things you may want to know

It’s been awhile since my last post, and am I ever feeling it.  My sports pun skills have faded to the point that I had to resort to using two of them in the headline alone, just to make sure at least one of them worked.  I think my plan failed because I like neither … but what can you do?  If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the electronic media, it’s that everything on the Internet is permanent.*

* This is another bad joke.  I apologize now, before we get any further.

Anyhow, here are some of my observations of the sporting world and some of things that are probably the least anyone should know about sports right now.

1. Tiger Woods is a man-whore — Yeah, I know, you already knew that.  But the latest head count puts the man’s “indiscretions” at a whopping FOURTEEN. That’s not just man-whore territory, it’s Wilt Chamberlain territory.

At least he’s still got his career though.

Whoops.

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The worst the sport has to offer

The college football season is winding to a close, and sadly, that means the Bottom 25 is too.  Oh, we’ll be back a couple more times, but it’s still sad anyway.  And as you’ll see, sadness plays a pretty big role this week (at least at No. 1).

Anyway, here’s the weekly Bottom 25 (at least in this humble author’s opinion).

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Bayou Classic: Teh Recap

Well, we’ve pretty much reached the end of the road.  And after 14 college football games in 13 weeks, I can report back to you one thing, and one thing only:  I’m tired.

I mean, think about it.  A typical college football fan goes maybe a game or two a year.  A fanatic goes to all of his team’s home games and maybe a roadie or two … meaning six to eight games total.  Only complete nutbars (like yours truly) go to a game every week.  And even then, for them, half of those games are at home.  Cait and I went to the equivalent of 12 road games this year (Tulane and the Bayou Classic took place in New Orleans, so I won’t lump those in with the rest), and not even the coaching staffs or players can say the same about their Fall grind.  Like most fans, half their games happened at home.

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Bayou Classic: Grambling State vs. Southern

I’ve been on some pretty great trips this fall, and seen some pretty great games.  But for my money, it’s hard to top the game I’ll be attending this weekend … one I’ll have witnessed three straight years come Saturday.  I’m talking about the Bayou Classic, and while Cait is going to be sitting this one out, Stopthemadness has said she’ll go with me (which is somewhat possible, given the fact she is visiting us this weekend).

As you know by now,  I’m going to a different college game every weekend.  And you guys get to tag along.  Every week I’ll preview the game I’m going to, I’ll be podcasting and tweeting the experience live, then recapping the whole ball of wax with video/photos/what have you on Monday.  As an added bonus, I pick winners for all the biggest games of the week (including this one).

Now that that’s out of the way, on to the football!

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Southeastern-Nicholls State AND Southern Miss-Tulsa: Teh Recap

The Eyeblack Odyssey had a busy weekend, as Cait and I somehow motivated ourselves into taking in two games this weekend instead of just one.  We started things off with a Thursday night rivalry tilt in Hammond, La., then hit Hattiesburg Saturday for a Southern Miss game.

We’re tired.

Don’t get me wrong, we had a good time at both games.  And we learned more about this great game of ours.  But perhaps the most important lesson we’ve learned at this point is that when it comes to game-day experiences, less can be more.

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Southeastern Louisiana vs. Nicholls State AND Southern Miss vs. Tulsa

Cait and I will be double-dipping this week, hitting two games instead of just one.  We are doing this primarily because I figured the holiday season just isn’t stressful enough (ha, just kidding … everyone knows the holiday season started eight weeks ago, per all the Christmas commercials I’ve been seeing).

As you know by now, Cait and I are going to a different college game every weekend (and this week, we’re hitting two – booyah!).  And you guys get to tag along.  Every week I’ll preview the game we’re  going to, we’ll be podcasting and tweeting the experience live, then recapping the whole ball of wax with video/photos/what have you on Monday.  As an added bonus, I pick winners for all the biggest games of the week (including these ones).

Now that that’s out of the way, on to the football!
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The worst the sport has to offer

The college football season is winding down (we barely knew you), and with every passing week we see more and more teams choke and/or give up.  It’s just what happens this time of year.  Someone has to win and have success … and that means someone else has to lose.  It’s the circle of life or something.

Yeah, I don’t know what I’m rambling about either.

Here’s the weekly Bottom 25 (at least in this humble author’s opinion).

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LSU-Louisiana Tech: Teh Recap

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past three months in my travels to football games around the South, it’s that you don’t always get what you’re expecting.

LSU-Louisiana Tech was a great example.  Coming into the weekend, I expected to be wowed by the atmosphere, yet witness a cruddy game.  As it turned out, I got the opposite: a game-day atmosphere like most any other (both good and bad), but also one of the more entertaining games I’ve been to.

You just never know.
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November 14, 2009 - 10:15 a.m. CT

NFL Guy and I are enjoying some coffee during College Gameday before our FSU-Wake game watch/subsequent trip to Baton Rouge for LSU-La Tech, but as you enjoy your morning java and openly gawk at the shenanigans of Lee Corso, check out our pregame podcast for today’s college football stories:

• Twitter and YouTube are changing the face of college football (see the Andre Branch video/link below)
   - welcome to the Thunderdome, college football fans.  Times, they are a-changin’.

  

  Tennessee Football FAIL!

• 3 Tennessee freshman players - including stud WR Nu’Keese Richardson -  were arrested for attempted armed robbery this week in Knoxville.  The best part?  The getaway car was a Prius.
• The college football power structure is changing - TCU? Boise?  Cincy?  What the Jeebus?  And what advice does NFL Guy have for these Johnny-Come-Lately’s?
• Upset alert: Notre Dame over No. 8 Pitt 

Eyeblack Odyssey Week 10 

Follow us on Twitter (#eyeblack) and be sure to check our Facebook page for updates tomorrow.

But for now, here’s a little controversy to get your gameday started:

So, Squeers, should Andre Branch have been punished for attempting rip David Spurlock’s head off, or was he just caught in (Asia’s) “Heat of the Moment”?

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LSU vs. Louisiana Tech

Few things in life live up to the hype.  (I’m looking at YOU, Tim Tebow.)  This weekend we’ll get to see if the LSU game-day experience can approach the reputation it has generated over the last dozen or so years (a time period in which the Tigers have won TWO national championships).   Many observers have called it the best tailgating spot in the country.  Others have tabbed the stadium as the most difficult venue for any opponent.  Can the place possibly live up to being called the best in both categories against a “lesser” opponent in Louisiana Tech?  It better, because my expectation is that the “best in the country” should be impressive no matter who the opponent is … that’s just how I roll.

As you know by now, Cait and I are going to a different college game every weekend.  And you guys get to tag along.  Every Friday I’ll preview the game we’re  going to, we’ll be podcasting Saturday and tweeting the experience, then recapping the whole ball of wax with video/photos/what have you on Monday.  As an added bonus, I pick winners for all the biggest games of the week (including this one).

Now that that’s out of the way, on to the football!

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The worst the sport has to offer

Welcome back to another week of the Bottom 25.  We’ve got some real contenders for the top spot this week, thanks primarily to some colossal on-field failures over the weekend, so the countdown should be as entertaining as ever (unless you think this whole thing is poo, in which case, go read about ballet or something – not that ballet isn’t great in its own right, but yeah, it’s sort of the opposite of football … I think).

Anyway, here’s the weekly Bottom 25 (at least in this humble author’s opinion).

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Tulane-UTEP: Teh Recap

There are a lot of themes and concepts I have running around in my head about my experience this weekend at the Tulane game, and while it will be impossible for me to touch on them all adequately here and now, I’ll still do my best to let you know what I’m talking about here.

First of all, we decided to treat a game in our home town as a true luxury, and we were able to do that by tailgating … on our front porch.  Burgers, brats, beer, and we even got to watch Iowa lose its first game of the year from the comfort of our living room.  Add in the College Gameday from Air Force (a special thing for Cait, in particular, to witness) and the fact we were easing our way back into this thing after a week off, and it was really a perfect start to our day in most respects.

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Tulane vs. UTEP

We’re back, and we begin our November journeys with a 5-minute jaunt down the road to the Superdome, where we’ll be checking out Tulane attempting to resuscitate its season against visiting UTEP.  In the coming weeks, we’ll be travelling to Baton Rouge and Hattiesburg, and back to the Superdome once again (the Superdome will figure prominently from here on out), but for right now at least, it’s finally time to check out the Div. 1 football program in our own back yard.

As you know by now, Cait and I are going to a different college game every weekend.  And you guys get to tag along.  Every Friday I’ll preview the game we’re  going to, we’ll be podcasting Saturday and tweeting the experience, then recapping the whole ball of wax with video/photos/what have you on Monday.  As an added bonus, I pick winners for all the biggest games of the week (including this one).

Now that that’s out of the way, on to the football!

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The worst the sport has to offer

I always enjoy putting this list together.  Why?  It’s cathartic.

Think about it.  You get to call out all the people and things that suck about your favorite sport, and then afterward, you get to hash it out further with some fellow college football nuts.  Pretty cool, eh?

Well, it is to me.  :-D

Here’s the weekly Bottom 25 (at least in this humble author’s opinion).
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