The Amuse Bouche Edition

Here’s a little warm up for your weekend as we prepare for consuming wine bladders.

We here at Thundersquee don’t just set standards and blaze trails - we like to laugh at standards and stumble on trails. Earlier this week while I was laughing at standards and searching for a slightly used treadmill, I stumbled upon some hilariousness. You have to love Craig and his list and there are many ads that totes my goats. And so for the pleasure of your eyeballs I bring you some of the finest ads Craigslist has to offer. (more…)

OR BOTH?

It ain’t no Limahl, but after watching this earlier I can’t shake it from stalking my brain. I’ve been singing it in nonsense Swedish (”nonsense” because I don’t actually know any Swedish, other than “bork! Bork! Bork!”) all day.

My head is Nicholas Cage, your argument is invalid.

Thanks Mr.(#1), you give me the best tips!

R U Fucking Kidding Me? (A Facebook Anthem)

(Thanks to Tristan for the tip!)

These guys should tour

I wonder if they can play Freebird?

Translation: “In His House at R’lyeh, Dead Cthulhu Waits Dreaming… of Making You Smell Pretty!”

Lately, celebrities aren’t allowed to be celebrities anymore unless they have a line of perfumes, right? And some of them even smell good, but COME ON. You know you won’t wear them, because you’re terrified someone might ask you what have on, and then you’ll have to say “Celine Dion,” risking the permanent loss of your reputation as a person who isn’t a big stupid.

Well, Squeeples, I’ve found the solution: “The Lovecraft Collection.”

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PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

I’m posting this clip because I would like to take the printer in my office and punch it in the face right now.

Pistols at Dawn!

I honestly cannot stop laughing at all the heckling and whatnot last night.  And then somewhere in the corners of my mind, I remembered seeing a video of shenannies in the South Korean Parliament from a couple months ago.  A few searches on the YouTewbz later, and I found what I was looking for.

Great googly moogly, I hope to turn on the telly to C-SPAN one day to find John McCain attempting to strangle Chuck Grassley on the Senate floor:

And she can!

Ellen is awesome.  I love her stand up.  I love that she married Lindsay Bluth (Portia di Rossi).  I love that she dances every day on her show.  If I didn’t work, I’d probably watch Ellen every day.  As it is, I’ll settle for the occasional YouTube clip:

If you’ve never seen the following clip, I dare you not to laugh:

Al Franken is smarter than you.

Considering half the country thinks Hawaii is a foreign country, I’d say it’s pretty impressive that Al Franken can draw a map of the 50 states from memory.

Funny, I once tried to list all the states in alphabetical order, and I forgot Minnesota.

Coincidence?  I think so!

Doughnuts never looked so good

One of the most awesome sites ever has been found. There is a website that shows you how to take your fast food and make it into a beautiful meal. They show you how to take doughnuts and coffee and transform it into Tiramisu; it’s amazing. Whoever made this site has Cait -like skills. You no longer have to look at your chicken mcnuggets in disgust because now you have a way to trick yourself into thinking you’re eating a high class meal. The people who live off of fast food really need to check this out.

Reverse Psychology

This is someone’s comment on a CNN message board. He is stating his opposition to President Obama’s “Stay in School” speech.

Jim Plinkett September 4th, 2009 10:33 am ET

I think the libs realized they would have tumble weeds running through the schools, mass withdrawls to private schools, ect. I know at least 5 public school teachers, all of whom put in for leave from this mandated critical day to be in. There will not be enough subs to come in, oh, and this in now way contributes to the learning agenda of any class in K-12. Why doesn’t he go preach about himself in the mirror or to people who want to listen like Van Jones, ect. Bow to him all impotent.

I think this guy is simply opposed to staying in school. Maybe the President when he were a young’un didn’t give now crap speeches, about whatnot, etc.?

So, who wants to listen like Van Jones? I’m sure there’s an online instructional course. I think it could contribute to a leaning agenda.

I’m going to try to work the phrase “mandated critical day” into everyday conversation.

“Hey Cait and STM? Is Tuesday Thundesquee’s! mandated critical day next week ?  Or is it Thursday?”

I know all of you Hags and Squeers can come up with some suggestions for me.

I think I’ve spotted the problem

Petey Greene on how to eat a watermelon

This here is one of Angry Black Lady’s favorite videos ever in the history of YouTube and everything else.  For those of you not in the know, Petey Greene was an activist and media personality in the 1970s. (Don Cheadle portrayed Petey in the movie Talk to Me.  The movie also starred Chiwitel Ejiofor.)  Petey is credited with telling black folks in D.C. to calm the fuck down after Dr. King was assassinated and motherfuckers started rioting in the street. (You know how black folks love us a good riot, whether it’s because some fool got his ass beat by the five-oh or because the LA Lakers won a championship.)

Petey also schooled people on the proper way to eat watermelon–Just a twang of salt!–and reminded black folks that we shouldn’t have to be closeted about our watermelon-eating.

I’m given her all she’s got Captain, but she can’t take much more embarrassment

OK, now to be fair we are only really getting half the story here. It all makes sense when you see the cats who live next door dressed up as Romulan Warbirds.

Careful Mellisa, I hear irony can cause low birth weight, too.

Sorry, they’re all out of Laserdisc players

Thanks, Matt N.!

Instructional signs.  Japan’s doing it wrong.

When coffee no longer works

Feast your cubicle-worn eyes and bleeding ears on this hot mess: Twilight High School Musical.

::shakes head in uncaffeinated confusion::

Wait, what the eff?

Owned by a little old anthropomorphic personification who only harvested souls on Sundays

Serious inquiries only.  Ask for Albert. If there’s no answer, don’t worry, he has your number.

Thanks again to Matt N. for the tip!