I can’t decide…

It’s too late.

[via Lamebook]

Carrie Prejean tries to storm off Larry King Live, but instead takes her mic off and just sits there looking stupid.

Also?  Inappropriate Larry King Live FTW.

Seriously, you’re a military ship?  But…but…you’re French!

Wow, you guys, the French military actually defeated someone running away from them in combat!  According to MSNBC:

Somali pirates in two skiffs fired on a French navy vessel early Wednesday after apparently mistaking it for a commercial boat, the French military said.

The French ship gave chase and captured five suspected pirates.

No one was wounded by the volleys from the Kalashnikov rifles directed at La Somme, a 3,800-ton refueling ship, French military spokesman Rear Adm. Christophe Prazuck said.

La Somme “was probably taken for a commercial ship by the two small skiffs” about 250 nautical miles off Somalia’s coast, Prazuck said.

So let me get this straight. 

1. Two tiny speedboats tried to take on a giant tanker, as is apparently trendy off the coast of Somalia.

2. The French gave chase, in a bid to apparently forget the humiliation of the epic FAIL of the Maginot line.

The best part is the photo released by the French navy, who proudly trumpet the triumph of their military genius:

Le FAIL.

Beyonce` clown fail!

Jeopardy Fail!

(Thanks to justinsloe for the tip!)

Or is it “fail”?  I’m going with “awesome.”

As Mae just said: “Oh dear.  No.  No.  Don’t reach in…”

(Thanks to Musashi San for the tip!)

Flip your hat lid down, raise your right hand, and slap yourself with it.

Yeah, man!  You’re so cool.  You wear your hat like DJ Jazzy Jeff.  You don’t watch television.  You’re too cool for television.  You just sit around in your own doosh-iverse posting quasi-hipster rants on the YouTubes.  You’re like, totally, subverting the dominant paradigm.  While those other fools get “placiated” you’re like, talking to your webcam. You’re AWESOME.

Hey buddy?  You got a little doosh in the corner of your eye.

YOU + LIFE = FAIL.

(Thanks to ManBearPig the Great for the tip!)

Autotuned hell

NFL Guy and I are going to see future Florida State president T-Pain tonight here in New Orleans, but much as I love the man and his sexual exploits on a boat, this is ridonk.

Also, geaux Saints.

Be careful what you post on Facebook…

(Thanks to justinsloe for the tip!)

Miss South Carolina’s long lost sister

(Thanks to Mike B. and James B. - part of the ACC football slack pack - for the tip!)

When you change out your product, change out the signage…

Thanks, Run-DMS!

The Freakout Kid is at it again.

Remember the kid who freaked out when his parents took away his World of Warcraft?  Well here he is being an ungrateful bastard on his birthday:

If that were my kid… well, let’s just say he’s glad he’s not my kid. 

This dog is smarter than his owner.

Madoff Given Maximum Sentence

Madoff attempts to answer the question "How much do you suck?" before realizing he doesn't have the arms for it.

He’s going to prison, the big house, the pokey, the pen, the can, jail, up the river, the hoosegow! Applause broke out in the crowded Manhattan courtroom after U.S. District Judge Denny Chin issued the maximum sentence to Bernard Madoff, thief of billions and fleecer of masses.  Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison today after pleading guilty in March to securities fraud, mail fraud, wire fraud, investment adviser fraud, three counts of money laundering, false statements, perjury, false filings with the SEC and theft from an employee benefit plan–the  haul from which totaled an estimated $65 billion dollars and harmed or destroyed the lives of at least 8,000 people (there are an estimated additional 1,300 victims who have yet to be identified).

For those thinking this seems like a harsh penalty for a white collar crime, consider this.  That’s a mere 1 year per each $433,333,333 stolen and 53.33 people swindled. Furthermore,  at least 2 suicides and one fatal heart attack have been attributed to his acts.  The widow of the man who died of a heart attack wrote the judge, asking for a fitting sentence.  That letter exemplifies the type of man Madoff is.

(more…)

This kid has got the Devil in him

A kid goes bat shit crazy when his mom canceled his World of Warcraft account. Let’s hope for his sake this is fake. Fake or not though, he’s going to have some explaining to do to his friends about what he was doing with that TV remote.

At least he will have something to look forward to this fall when school starts back up. By then this video should have broken the million viewers mark. It’s gonna be the best year ever.

Watch the video after the jump.

(more…)

Editor’s Note: Thundersquee! did not intend to offend anyone by any off-color helmet-related jokes.  The headline has been removed with our apologies.

Meteorology FAIL!

These weather patterns are becoming increasingly worrisome.

Round and round and round she goes…