The worst the sport has to offer

The college football season is winding down (we barely knew you), and with every passing week we see more and more teams choke and/or give up.  It’s just what happens this time of year.  Someone has to win and have success … and that means someone else has to lose.  It’s the circle of life or something.

Yeah, I don’t know what I’m rambling about either.

Here’s the weekly Bottom 25 (at least in this humble author’s opinion).

25. Miami (Ohio) – The RedHawks are 1-10, meaning they aren’t the worst team in college football.  It’s close, though.

24. Battle of Idaho – Not quite the epic barnburner it could have been, eh?  Boise State still has a leg up on the chasing Vandals.

23. Arizona – Let’s be honest, Cal isn’t a bad team.  But to put an even finer point on it, Cal isn’t a good team, either.  The Wildcats want last weekend back right about now.

22. Mark Ingram – I’m really pulling for this kid to win the Heisman, mostly because I am utterly convinced Tim Tebow doesn’t deserve it.  So what does he do?  18 carries, 79 yards and a whole lot of nothing … until his 70-yard burst to close the scoring late in the fourth quarter.  He’s going to need to be better from here on out.

21. Texas A&M – Given the talent on hand, there is no excuse for this team to be giving up 60 points in a blowout loss … let alone doing it twice.

20. Sleeping on Nevada – Nobody is talking about this team right now, but the Nevada offense has been ridiculous and the Wolfpack is undefeated in WAC play.  Perhaps Boise has a test on its schedule left after all…

19. Big 12 rolling over for Texas – The Longhorns haven’t been tested since Oct. 17, and it’s freakin’ boring.  Someone in the Big 12 do something!  Please!

Does Texas need a 'bigger' challenge this week? (I couldn't resist.)

18. Iowa – The Hawkeyes held up better than expected in Columbus Saturday, but a loss is still a loss, and this team has now lost two in a row.  That’s a disappointment given how far they’d risen prior to that.

17. LSU fans booing their own team – I tend to take the “positive fan” approach when attending ball games, meaning I look at these amateur athletes choosing to represent my school, and I cut them a break.  In other words, don’t boo your own team, LSU fans.  Especially when you’re winning.

16. Pollsters who vote for South Florida – You’d have thought they’d have learned their lesson last year.  Or the year before.  Or even earlier this year.  But nope, the Bulls were tragically overrated again last week … as proven out in a 31-0 loss to Rutgers.

15. Notre Dame – Notre “Lame” is too obvious.  How does Notre “Blame” sound to you guys, seeing as how they’re about to can another coach, and all?

14. New Mexico – They nearly upset an absent-minded BYU, so maybe they don’t belong here this week.  Then again, it’s kind of hard to ignore 0-10.

The Lobos could use Brian Urlacher. Then again, so could the Bears.

13. Western Kentucky – By jumping up to FBS in football and promptly going 0-10, the Hilltoppers have proven that old adage true: Be careful what you wish for.

12. Eastern Michigan – 0-10 with a bullet, the Eagles are two games (Toledo and Akron) away from history.

11. Tulane – Losing to Rice?  Seriously?  Wow.

10. Miami (Fla.) – The Hurricanes have been inconsistent in recent weeks, and it bit them in a big way against North Carolina.  Suddenly, a team that once looked like a lock for a New Years Day bowl and Top 10 finish, now looks more like a Meineke Car Care Bowl participant.

9. Washington State – The losses, which continue to pile up, are getting more one-sided, not less.  The latest travesty was a 43-7 loss to UCLA.  How the heck does a team even give up 43 points to the Bruins?  I didn’t think that was possible.

8. Steve Spurrier – He gets under Florida’s skin for putting a scare into them every year, and he gets under everyone else’s skin for not finishing the job and knocking the Gators off.

7. USC – 55-21.

6. Utah – Utah had given up 31 points just once in the last two years, yet TCU scored 55 on Saturday.  Here’s guessing the Utes put a priority on the defensive side of the ball in practice this week.

5. Houston – The Cougars are the most frustrating team in America, primarily because I have no clue how to rank them.  Logic suggests a team that lost to Central Florida and UTEP should not be ranked.  Yet how can you rank this team lower than Oklahoma State, a team with two losses the Cougars already beat head-to-head?  Perplexing.

4. Louisville 10, Syracuse 9 – This game probably set college football back 60 years (and I’m being kind here).

3. Michigan cheating – These guys remind me of Kansas State back in ‘70s … cheating their butts off and still playing terrible football.  The loss to Wisconsin was bad enough, but now we’re hearing they “conveniently” lost records of their practice time … while the NCAA is trying to investigate them for illegal practice time.  Something smells fishy, and it ain’t Lake Erie (surprisingly enough).

2. Tennessee boosters handing out Priuses – The knuckleheads Lane Kiffin signed to his football team that attempted an armed robbery last week didn’t just try to run from the scene of the crime.  Oh no.  They sped away in a Toyota Prius, the lamest car on the planet.  Can’t the boosters as Tennessee afford Escalades like every other major college program?  Hell, these geniuses deserve to get caught by the NCAA, if only because they had the poor taste to saddle these criminals players with Priuses to begin with.

1. No big games – How the hell do we get to Nov. 21, with several conference races still in doubt, more undefeated teams at this stage of the season than in any other, and a wide open Heisman race … and have NO Top-25 matchups on deck?  That is very nearly incomprehensible.  When college football should be reaching its nadir, we’re instead treated to the likes of the titanic Florida-FIU tilt.  If this is what it’s supposed to be like, I weep for the future of college football.  (For a taste of what this weekend should be like, watch the video below to reminisce.)

And for good measure, here is my Top 25:

1. Alabama
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. TCU
5. Cincinnati
6. Georgia Tech
7. Boise State
8. Pittsburgh
9. LSU
10. Oregon
11. Ohio State
12. Iowa
13. Wisconsin
14. Penn State
15. Houston
16. Oklahoma State
17. Stanford
18. Virginia Tech
19. Clemson
20. Miami
21. Utah
22. Southern Cal
23. North Carolina
24. Nebraska
25. Oregon State

Tags: Bottom 25, college football, Houston Cougars, Lane Kiffin, Louisville Cardinals, Michigan Wolverines, NFL Guy, Syracuse Orange, Tennessee Volunteers, Toyota Prius

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 1:57 PM and is filed under Guy with Eyeblack. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.