The Good, Bad, And The Fabulous

Movies have the power to remind of us of of different periods in our lives. You can tell a lot about a person by the movies they choose to represent their lives. Unfortunately for you all I have a great love of horrible movies. And also just so you know, my mother and her sisters let us all watch just about anything.

Here’s  how we play

Childhood

Monty Python, The Holy Grail

Even as a young jujubee I knew this was some seriously funny shit. How can you not love French taunting and laughing at the plague. The plague kills it. Here’s a scene from the funniest taunting scene ever.

Grease

Oh how I wanted to be Sandy and marry John Travolta. Pre-Scientology that is. I wanted to wear shiny black hot pants and red Candies shoes. We would just sit in the theater singing every song. Yes it was annoying but at least we didn’t dance in the aisles. OK, only when it was an empty theater.

Halloween

My 8 year old self loved this movie. One because it answered many questions about the birds and bees my mother wouldn’t talk to me about. But also because I thought it would be super cool to just keep dying and coming back. And I wanted to grow up and wear super cool bell bottoms. Luckily for me when I was old enough bell bottoms made a brief return. I was able to live this dream out but was severely disappointed since I’m only 5′0. It’s not a good look for the shorties in the house.

Poltergeist

I watched this movie so much that when it came out on betamax my grandpa bought it for me. I could recite every line from the movie. Oh  yea, I did say betamax. That’s how old I am since many of you reading this have no idea what I’m talking about, it came right before vhs. But not after laserdisk.

I really loved the special effects and I always wanted to know where Carol Ann went when she was all sucked into the black hole in the closet. It did freak my shit out and I would tie shoe laces around my closet door handles. And we had a clown doll that kept finding it’s way into the basement. I couldn’t throw it away due to it being from my grandma. Thanks, grandma. Plus who wouldn’t love to walk across their ceiling? And back then Craig T. Nelson was teh sexy.

Raiders Of The Lost Ark

Harrison Ford. That’s all I need to say. It was fun and had enough action to keep you from going to sleep.

Clash Of The Titans

I remember a young 7 year old girl first awakening watching Harry Hamlin running around in a toga. Harry Hamlin was Perseus and flew around on his bewinged horse Pegasus. His beloved totally pissed off a goddess and they locked her  ass up for the Kraken to have it’s way with her. It was as an offering for forgiveness for proclaiming her beauty was greater than the goddess. And shit starts ensuing all over the place. Looking back the special effects are cheesy at best. But I will never forget how Harry’s thighs glistened.

Early Teens or Tweens

Xanadoooo ooo oooo

The hair, clothes, bedazzling, snd skating. This had everything and then some and nobody can rock a jumpsuit like Olivia. NOBODY! I’m still not sure exactly what the hell this movie is about. I get she comes from a land far away where the only means of transportation is skates and magic. My cousin and I would go see this movie and sing all the songs along with the movie.  We did that a lot and yes, we were those girls. We had to be our own MTV. Feast your eyes on this and try not to go blind from it’s awesomeness.

Grease 2

You know you love it so zip it. And I’m still looking for that cool rider. I know some would say it’s the lesser of the Grease movies but I think it’s a Grease all of it’s own. Sure some of the same characters are there but Stephanie Zanonie is nobody’s lesser Sandy. As a matter of fact this was my look for about a year minus looking like Michelle Pfeiffer. Listen and try not to sing. You won’t make it.

This clip has subtitles in case anybody needs them.

Hard To Hold

This movie was just horrible but it had one thing going for it. Rick Springfield aka Dr. Noah Drake. Still not sure what this movie is about either but there was a really nice Rick Springfield butt shot. My mom was upset by it which is crazy since she let me watch Halloween and Friday The 13th.

Back To The Future

I didn’t love the sequels but the original was a real snippet from a time when special effects were becoming more spectacular. Before special effects weren’t all that great and looked like something you’d see the audio visual kids doing. You just really felt the power of love watching this and you imagined this is what our future would look like. But much like previous generations it was full of lies. I’m no closer to owning a hovering skateboard than I am to owning a jet pack or flying car. But it’s still fun to imagine.

Awwwwwwesome. So we are up to our full on teen years. So think really hard about your favorite early childhood movies and share your movie memories. Now be off or I shall fart in your general direction.

Tags: Back to the Future, childhood, Clash of the Titans, Fart In Your General Direction, French Taunting, Grease, Grease 2, Halloween, Hard to Hold, Jujubees, Monty Python, movies, Olivia Newton-John, Poltergeist, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Rick Springfield, Xanadu

This entry was posted on Monday, October 19th, 2009 at 7:00 AM and is filed under Daily Whims, Juju Bitches, Movie Marquis. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.