Buying A Car In The Ballyhood: “We’re Recession Proof, Y’all!”
And Other 21st Century Myths and Legends 
I hate buying cars. It’s not actually the getting the car that I dislike so much as the having to deal with the car salesmen aspect that goes along with it. I dislike the process so much, that I have successfully avoided buying a car for over a decade. Several months ago someone asked me how long I had owned my car.
I told them I had purchased it during the Clinton Administration. I like to measure time in Presidential Terms. It really puts things in perspective for me. “Yes. I got pregnant with my daughter during the Clinton years, but gave birth to her during Bush’s Debacle.”
I have been in denial concerning the need to purchase a new car for a couple of years now. Everyone else seemed well aware of the fact. I was asked if I was “some kind of Hippy trying to make a statement” and “where were my peace decals?” In my eyes, she was still the same vision of beauty as the day I bought her. But, the day my daughter got out of the back seat holding an unrecognisable plastic piece that had fallen off of something, and my husband joked about “duct tape,” that was my cue to find her successor.
I already knew what kind of vehicle I wanted to purchase, so I headed to the dealership for a couple of test drives. My husband was out of town, so I had to do this on my own. When I walked through the door I swear all their minds were thinking, in unison, “Shark Bait!” I kept thinking, “Car salesmen must be failed televangelists. Or, vice-versa.”
After a couple of test drives with my assigned salesman, I’ll call him Forest Whitaker without the charm, I decided on a car and called my husband for his version of a fair deal. After much over-the-phone haggling, we decided on the price. Later that evening, he went with me to look it over. As soon as we walked through the door, the charmless one, whom I will now refer to as Vulture, swooped down on my husband and told him he had some papers for him to sign. Errr, wrong move, Vulture. He didn’t even offer him a look over and a test drive. I knew the deal was already lost.
After the test drive, which took my husband over an hour, we went in to look over the paperwork. Of course, my husband was still trying to bargain. It was then Mr. Vulture committed his fatal error. He told us that was as low as they could go because the area we live in is “recession proof.” Yes, he actually said it. I suppose he thought the decrease in his recent property tax bill was some sort of government incentive to buy a bigger, more expensive house. The rest of us saw it as “confinement to our present quarters for the forseeable future” and “I’m glad I like my neighbourhood.”
My husband not so politely informed him that he was incorrect in this assumption and our area was most certainly negatively impacted by the current economic situation. And then we left. Even though it was 10 minutes until closing time, the salesman used the tired old ” this car may be gone tomorrow” line. My husband said that was fine. We would go search for the car in areas that are not recession proof so we could get a better deal. Zing!
In the end, it was well worth it. We found a better deal elsewhere, in not recession proof Pa. I probably won’t be doing this again during the remaining 7+ years of the Obamapalooza. Maybe during the Clinton, “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” tour. If it turns out to be the “Palin Failin’ Follies,” I’m selling it all and skipping across the pond.
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Tags: Bedbugs and Ballyhoo, car salesman, cars, recession
This entry was posted on Thursday, October 15th, 2009 at 7:00 AM and is filed under Keepin' it in the Ballyhood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:05 AM
TheHobo says:Oooh! If you go across the pond, take me with you!
Actually, my mother is, by citizenship, Canadian, and I often think to myself that if things in the US ever go totally bat-shit crazy, I’m heading over the border and seeing what I can do about getting my own citizenship up there.
And then heading to Europe because I think you get a better visa from Canada than from the US.
October 15th, 2009 at 1:31 PM
Mae says:I don’t think that car salesman knew he he was dealing with *around the world snap* also, take me with you too! either of you! i like canada annnnnnnnnnnnd europe! i’m not picky and i’m partially house broken!
October 15th, 2009 at 3:52 PM
TheHobo says:I can deal with partially.
How are you with litter boxes?
October 16th, 2009 at 6:19 AM
Chelsea - PETA Protector says:I had the same sorts of problems buying a car! The husband and I did our test driving with some friends’ new cars (gotta love being in your 20’s, when all the already old and used cars your parents lovingly loaned or gave you have crapped out and everyone buys a new one at the same time) and decided on a Civic. Even knew the model we wanted. So I called and emailed all the local dealerships, and in DC there’s a ton. And I said we’re buying a car THIS WEEK. Give me your best deal. Can you guess how many wanted to haggle? And have me come in for a test drive. Oh hells no. It just got worse from there. We finally got a lowest price, and we were happy, and then I haggled some more, and got a lower price, and chose a dealership, and the guy was so slimey when we got there that even with a good deal this time around, we’re not going back there when my husband’s car inevitably dies in the next few years. uggh.
October 16th, 2009 at 7:50 AM
SeaKat says:My husband was hilarious when we bought our 2000 Passat wagon. We bought it new (first time, and probably last time we’ll ever own a new car.)
We went around to various dealerships driving cars and we decided we liked the Passat best. Well, we liked the Audi and BMWs better, but weren’t going to spend the money.
Mr. SK found out the baseline price for the car (from VW to the dealer) online, figured out a reasonable percentage (on the low end) would be to allow for dealer profit (again, got this number somewhere online). He arranged financing with our credit union. He called the dealer, got transferred to a salesman and said:
“I want this car. I want it in black with these added features. I’m willing to pay $__.”
The guy came back with “Well, our price is (several thousand dollars higher).”
My husband says, “I know that VW’s price to you is $___. I’ve told you what I’ll pay. I can be down there in about 20 minutes, financing in hand. Now, I think $___ (the profit margin he had already decided upon) is a pretty fair profit for about 10 minutes of work, don’t you?”
Silence.
My husband: “OK, I’ve got a list of other dealers here…”
Salesman: “Give me a few minutes to make sure we have that car with those features on the lot. If not, I’ll get it here ASAP.”
Husband: “Ok, here’s my phone number. Call me back.”
Sure enough, the guy called back and said he was getting the car from another lot and it would be there the next day. We went in, signed some papers and walked out in about 15 minutes.
I was so proud of the husband that day. :)
October 16th, 2009 at 8:46 AM
baby fish mouth says:slow clap for SeaKat’s husband
October 16th, 2009 at 10:03 AM
Sarah says:Dang, SeaKat! I will remember that story when the time comes to buy a new car, if that time ever comes. Awesome!
October 16th, 2009 at 6:47 PM
Bedbugs and Ballyhoo says:I feel your pain Chelsea. DC Metro Area is not always the place to buy the car. I used to always wonder why I saw so many temporary plates from Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Delaware and Virginia. Now I know. If you buy out of state, (in MD) all you pay is the price of the car. Taxes and tags are assessed and paid for at the MVA. There are no added dealer charges for providing these services. And for some reason NOVA, Montgomery County and Annapolis car dealers seem to think they have the right to charge a premium price. I won’t even go into how Baltimore (licensed) dealerships operate. Word of advice: Never buy a car in Darkon.
October 16th, 2009 at 10:56 PM
lava says:slowclapping as i type. apparently we have no idea how to buy a car because i’m sure they gave us the shaft. we ended up paying more for a stick because they claimed “everyone wanted one,” even though while we were there no one wanted one and they couldn’t find any. i need lessons in mr. seakatism.
October 16th, 2009 at 10:59 PM
Sarah says:Wow. I am trying to commit this entire thread to memory (for reasons stated above.)I had no idea.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:06 PM
SeaKat says:Hey, if you guys are interested, I’ll ask him where he found all of this valuable information! Please bear in mind that it was in 2000. I swear, I think he said he found that information on the VW site, itself. I’m not sure they’d still share that kind of information, just for the simple fact that it empowers customers to do what he did - and probably pisses off their dealers. And Lindsay Lohan can tell you - you NEVER want to piss off your dealer.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:16 PM
lava says:hehe seakat, yeah i don’t want my car cut down into a million pieces and made into a watered down crappier car. i just saw next day air, way too informative. ANYWHO i could understand if it was right there on the site, because until i read that 2 seconds ago i never even thought to even look.
October 17th, 2009 at 12:38 AM
baby fish mouth says:i would love to know SK.