Big (lol) East edition

You ever notice that someone in sports looks like someone else?  This happens to me all the time, so I thought I’d share my observations to determine whether I was a.) on to something; b.) off my rocker; or c.) way too bored.
 
Determined to make this venture as silly as possible, I led off last time with only athletes who have appeared on “Dancing with the Stars.”  This time, I moved on to the coaches of the Big (lol) East.  Why?  Because they’re such easy targets, of course.  I mean, who coaches in the Big (lol) East?
 
These guys, that’s who.

Randy Edsall (UConn) vs. Jerry Mathers 

Okay, it’s the teeth.  And while I could have simply posted a photo of any old beaver here, I thought, “Why not go with THE Beaver?”  Why not indeed.
 
Anybody got any twigs handy?  He looks like he wants to build a dam.
 
Brian Kelly (Cincinnati) vs. Spongebob Squarepants

Kelly has a really square head.  He’s also sort of manic.  Basically, in summation, he freaks me out.  Oddly enough, Spongebob, who also has a really square head, and who is also manic, does not have the same effect.
 
I think it’s because he’s yellow.
 
Doug Marrone (Syracuse) vs. George W. Bush 

Anytime I see a vacant stare, I think of our former president.  And with good reason – he was the king of vacant stares.
 
And strategery.
 
But seriously, Marrone is generic.  Like really generic.  Like Wal-Mart generic.  And what’s more generic than a photo of George Bush staring off into space, confused about something?
 
I rest my case.
 
Dave Wannstedt (Pittsburgh) vs. benign walrus 

Dave Wannstedt IS the mustache.  But he’s also pretty harmless (as evidenced by his tenures in Chicago, Miami and now Pittsburgh).  So I figured a pleasant-looking walrus would be a pretty safe way to go here.
 
Plus, should either get angry about the comparison, it’s not like they could do anything about it (what with them being inept and all).
 
Bill Stewart (West Virginia) vs. Al Gore

 
Beyond the physical resemblance, these two are seemingly nice guys who tend to do things that make you scratch your head.  I’m pretty sure Gore didn’t invent the Internet, for instance.  I’m also fairly sure Stewart’s offensive philosophy is in direct contrast to what it should be (in other words, competent).
 
I’d like to pat each of them on the head and give them a cookie, but that might just encourage them.
 
Steve Kragthorpe (Louisville) vs. Cro-Magnon man 

Okay, so it’s not very nice.  But look at that friggin’ jaw.  I could have gone with Jay Leno here, but I don’t even think Jay would have done those features true justice.  Also, given Kragthorpe’s current popularity in Louisville (he probably ranks just ahead of “Syphilis” but below “Kicks in the groin”), I think I might actually gain a few fans with this one.
 
Yay me.
 
Jim Leavitt (South Florida) vs. Ric Flair

Fiery nutjobs are a true joy to watch, and these two men both certainly fit the bill in that regard.  I think these two need to engage in a Thunderdome battle at some point, if only to answer the question of which one is crazier.
 
My money is actually on Leavitt, but I think in the end, we, the viewers, are the true winners.
 
Greg Schiano (Rutgers) vs. Gollum 

I think this pretty much speaks for itself…

Tags: Al Gore, Bill Stewart, Brian Kelly, caveman, Dave Wannstedt, Doug Marrone, Geico, George Bush, Gollum, Greg Schiano, Jerry Mathers, Jim Leavitt, NFL Guy, Randy Edsall, Ric Flair, Spongebob Squarepants, Steve Kragthorpe, walrus

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 at 12:18 PM and is filed under Guy with Eyeblack. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.