Karl Lagerfeld, My Vagina Would Like to Meet You in the Applebee’s Parking Lot, STAT.
To discuss fashion! Also your hatred of women!
I will happily admit that I LOVE fashion. I LOVE IT. I watch it, I pay attention to it, I want to be near it, and at times I have invested far too much money in it. Now, I am aware that as a feminist whose vagina gets angry and throws things from time to time, that may seem counterproductive. Well, sometimes it is. And for the most part, I can laugh off the stupidity that fashion and fashion designers sometimes have to offer. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES, Y’ALL.
For the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Karl Lagerfeld decided to “channel” the spirit of Coco Chanel (in honor of the upcoming film Coco Before Chanel.) The following is an excerpt of that interview:
Harper’s Bazaar: Your clothing liberated women in the 1920s. Are you still a feminist?
Karl Lagerfeld as Coco Chanel: I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that.
Oh, Karl! It’s SO funny that you say that! You know why? BECAUSE YOU ARE TALKING TO WOMEN. Specifically, women who love, buy and wear fashion, or they wouldn’t be reading Harper’s Bazaar. Women who have style! And money OF THEIR OWN! Women who remember when you were REALLY overweight, and didn’t hold it against you! And now that you’ve LOST the weight and are walking around with your orange makeup and your leathery skin and your Kim Jong Il sunglasses and your weird insistence on carrying around that paper fan you picked up in Chinatown EVERYWHERE, have STILL been tactful enough to not stop you and say, “OH, honey. NO.” Not because they’re not thinking it, but because they respect your work.
Now, I’m not saying that people will suddenly stop buying your designs because the word is out that you so dislike the women who buy your clothes. I’m just saying the next time your limo pulls into a dark parking lot so that you can inhale that to-go plate of riblets and mac ‘n’ cheese (trust me, Karl, we know how your kind operates,) well, maybe you should make sure your doors are locked and vagina-proofed.
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Tags: angry vagina, Applebee's parking lot, fashion, Karl Lagerfeld, Sarah
This entry was posted on Thursday, August 13th, 2009 at 7:30 AM and is filed under Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Fashion, Sarah's Vagina Wants to Throw Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
August 13th, 2009 at 7:47 AM
silent noodles says:This leather douchebag constantly says insanely sexist and rude things about women in general… I can’t imagine designing clothes for women while hating them so much at the same time.
August 13th, 2009 at 8:30 AM
Mae says:Does anyone else think that his high collars are actually holding his decrepit head up, like me? He is like 610 years old after all. He could be a vampire on True Blood.
August 13th, 2009 at 8:49 AM
blah says:Don’t worry Sarah…I think we can all agree that his entire being was “vagina proofed” a long time ago.
August 13th, 2009 at 8:56 AM
oneofthevoicesinmyhead says:Mae: I always get the feeling that when he undoes that collar, a massive wattle unrolls and falls to the floor.
August 13th, 2009 at 10:48 AM
TheHobo says:Before this site, I never even knew who this guy was. Guess what mister fashion dude, that’s how irrelevant you are.
And I think most women’s fashion designers hate women–look at the uncomfortable shit they design! :-P
August 13th, 2009 at 2:01 PM
lava says:oh i love when your vajayjay throws things… hilarious!
August 13th, 2009 at 8:48 PM
rumoUr says:Karl, Don Cherry called. He wants his collar back.
And has anyone else notice that Karl wears the same thing everyday!
Oh and P.S. Karl, you are ugly.
August 14th, 2009 at 5:31 AM
Lea says:oh, he’s ugly enough alright. But not smart enough. Maybe he wants to BE a woman, and is mad he isn’t.
I mean really, this coming from someone who’s clearly so insecure, he morphs into a skinny demented oompa loompa? This is what we should be aiming for? This is attractive? um-no.
Us beauties wouldn’t have him! His true hideous is showing, and we find that to be SUCH a fashion no no.
biting the hand that feeds you is so, like, last season.
August 14th, 2009 at 7:25 AM
baby fish mouth says:“biting the hand that feeds you is so, like, last season.”
Love it!!
August 14th, 2009 at 7:28 AM
SeaKat says:Ha! Lea, that was great!!
August 14th, 2009 at 8:17 AM
Helen Skor says:I personally think Gloria Steinham is beautiful. So suck on it Karl. And you know what else? I’m beautiful. Yeah, I’m chubby, have bad skin, and can’t get my hair to do things that don’t defy the laws of nature. But I’m still beautiful, because I don’t feel the need to go through the world putting down others to validate my own ego.
August 15th, 2009 at 9:05 PM
shu_shu says:You know what, though — and here’s the sad part — most of the women I know do NOT identify themselves as feminist. If they don’t identify, they won’t feel mocked or belittled. In fact, they probably laughed along with him. So, Herr Karl could feel very little backlash from his little gem of a comment.
But on the serious-tip, what kind of personality disorder do you have to have to give an interview as a third-party? Do they teach this kind of ass-hattery in design school? Or is this just the consequence of sun damage and botox?
September 26th, 2009 at 9:03 PM
vannessa says:actually, no he’s not a douchbag. If you actually knew your shit you’d know how karl worships women that’s why he designs for them. If ANY of you knew anything, you’d actually know that Karl is like a god to the Fashion industry and stop talking shit because the clothes you live in, were inspired by the AMAZING fashion innovator. So go suck on some more noodles you fatass and get a life beyond the fashion industry, because shure as hell you don’t belong in it.
September 26th, 2009 at 9:05 PM
vannessa says:Oh, and to the “hobo” look at your name because if you knew anything about fashion you dumbass, you’d know that he runs Fendi, Chanel, Lagerfeld, and Chloe. Go die, YOURE insufficient.
September 26th, 2009 at 9:20 PM
baby fish mouth says:it’s funny because i worship jesus and i’ve never felt the need to compliment him by dressing him up in sexy outfits.
September 26th, 2009 at 9:24 PM
TheHobo says:My name is a fashion designer’s name?!?! WOO HOO!!!! Or, did I get that wrong? I only understand sentences that make sense, so it’s possible I’m not understanding yours.
You know Vannessa, I very recently wrote a song about you and I didn’t even know it! Talk about timing… also, YOU’RE. Don’t forget to punctuate! :-)
And I’m not sure what I’m insufficient in, but thanks for reminding me to take my vitamins. Can’t really help you on the “go die” part, but I’m sure you’re just in pain from trying to squeeze into the latest Lagerfeld fashion, so, you know, I’d be angry too. It’s okay. Go put on some sweatpants. You’ll like life better.
To the hags/squeers that know…squeeple are squeeple… ;-)
September 26th, 2009 at 9:42 PM
TheHobo says:bfm: hahahaha!
What, you don’t have a Jesus barbie doll or paper doll with changeable outfits? Comes with his own crown of thorns and removable nails!
Yeah, I’m going to hell for that one.
September 26th, 2009 at 9:43 PM
baby fish mouth says:don’t dizzle TheHizzle. i would mizzle your azzle.
that is all. (read: that izzle.)
September 26th, 2009 at 9:43 PM
shu_shu says:Vannessa, I appreciate your very passionate reply. However, if you had, perhaps, taken an additional 5.5 seconds to browse past this posting, you may have realized that none of us truly give a shit about the fashion industy to the lengths that you do. I buy my clothes at Target. So go suck on that.
September 26th, 2009 at 10:24 PM
Sarah says:@ Vannessa:
FACT: Lagerfeld doesn’t “worship” women, he envies them. Which makes him hate them. Which is why if he weren’t a fashion designer, he’d be a serial killer. True story. Maybe.
FACT: You spell your name wrong. Learn how to spell your name properly and I will hear you out. Until then, you’re an idiot who can’t spell her own name and I will have no more of you.
Best,
Sarah
September 26th, 2009 at 10:27 PM
shu_shu says:A la Nelson: Ha ha!
September 26th, 2009 at 10:30 PM
baby fish mouth says:no, hobo. you are going to heaven because you know how to properly worship your christ. i have been disappointing him all these years. he is going to be dressed up like a pretty pretty princess so i may save my soul.
September 26th, 2009 at 11:31 PM
Mae says:Man, I love trolls! I had one on Twitter earlier that told me I have no mom, so I responded back and said ” yeah, you’re right I have no mom. I was immaculately conceived. Just call me Jesus.”
Vannessa, what makes you a fashion expert, because you certainly are no expert in the english language. Out of your league here, S-U-R-E. We’re a fact based driven community, so until you can provide factual informtation keep your ass battery to yourself before you get schooled. I’m feeling frisKAY toDAY! (emphasis on Kay and Day)
September 26th, 2009 at 11:36 PM
Mae says:Ugh. Forgive my typos, the iPhone hates me this evening.
September 27th, 2009 at 6:38 AM
payter says:Is that a Best I see up above?? Awesome.
September 27th, 2009 at 2:40 PM
Mae says:Bests make me twinkle in my lady lollipop area.
September 28th, 2009 at 7:16 PM
stopthemadness says:my pops
my pops
my lovely lady (lolli)pops.