Mae Dae! Mae Dae!
A Dae Without Cupcakes 
Today is our beloved Mae’s birthdae. Everybody say Happy Birthdae, Mae!
I’ll wait.
::elevator music::
As you all know, our dear Mae hates many things: Cupcakes, stupid people, and karaoke, just to name a few. But Mae loves stuff too, and it is the objects of her love as well as the objects of her hate that make Mae one of the most amazing people that we’ve ever had the fortune to call a friend. If you ever need a person to talk to at 4 in the morning, Mae is there. If you have a problem, Mae has a solution. If you need to unlock a door, Mae has the key. If you need to breakdance, Mae has cardboard. If you need to fight Rosie O’Donnell in the Applebee’s parking lot, Mae has a brick. If you need someone to have your back, Mae’s behind you. If you need to dispose of a body, Mae has a plan and a car with an unusually large trunk.
In celebration of Mae’s Dae, we at Thundersquee! are placing a moratorium on all things cupcakes. So yeah, put that cupcake down. PUT.IT.DOWN. There will be no cupcake eating todae. Nae! Any citizen of the People’s Republic of Thundersquee! found eating a cupcake on this holiest of daes will meet the Hags in the Applebee’s parking lot whereupon his or her face will meet the business end of a Thundersquee! brand brick. The only exception is a space cupcake: because SPACE CUPCAKES KILL!!!
So, on that note, come take a journey with us as we recount:
20 Things that Mae Loves
1. The Detroit Red Wings
2. Her dogs Max and Angie (a.k.a. her kryptonite)
3. The Dudes:
i) The Dude (#1) is her father’s dog who likes to gnaw on her toes and underwear, but Mae loves The Dude nonetheless.
ii) The Dude (#2) is El Duderino from The Big Lebowski, which Mae lub lub lubs.
4. Arby’s Big Beef and Cheddar –”Gotta get your hands on one,” Mae often cries.
5. The Detroit Tigers
6. Hammer pants
7. Doing the robot (especially with one arm)
8. PG Tips
9. Better Off Dead
10. True Blood
11. Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush
12. Jet boats (aka-go fast boats.) One day she will buy a jet boat and name it “Suck My Wake.”
13. Chick Lit (e.g., Bridget Jones’ Diary)
14. Esquire magazine
15. Amelie
16. Trivia
17. Golf (but not putt-putt; Mae hates putt-putt)
18. Long drives
19. Word play
20. Stomping cupcakes
BONUS: Lamp. Mae loves Lamp.
So there you have it. The softer side of Mae. She’s a great friend, a great person, and we’re lucky to have met her. She has gotten us through good times and bad times, and for that we will always buttcone her.
Tags: birthday, cupcakes, Lily the Pink, Mae, stopthemadness
This entry was posted on Thursday, July 16th, 2009 at 12:30 AM and is filed under Birthday Shenannies, People We Love. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
July 16th, 2009 at 12:40 AM
Mae says:aw shucks. i felt my face just blush! i butt cone you hags too!
July 16th, 2009 at 12:40 AM
Mae says:p.s.
i love space cupcake. …and lamp.
July 16th, 2009 at 12:46 AM
stopthemadness says:i can’t believe i didn’t think about that one! you’ve been saying all the time!
July 16th, 2009 at 1:00 AM
Lily the Pink says:I co-said it up there, but officially, Happy Mae dae with ponycorn pinatas.
Much buttcone,
Lils
July 16th, 2009 at 1:11 AM
Mae says:I also love piano sonatas. And not much else after that and the list!
July 16th, 2009 at 1:17 AM
drgnsldr says:may your birthday be devoid of rumpleminze and pints of Jager drunken from a strip club bathroom. (would have made my birthday a lot less interesting though) And may your birthday be full of jack with coke-backs and washington apples. happy birthday Duder!
July 16th, 2009 at 6:27 AM
bedbugs and ballyhoo says:Happy b’Dae, Mae!
OOXXoxOxXo
July 16th, 2009 at 6:28 AM
Deimos says:Happy birthday Mae! May you encounter the most awesome trivia ever today.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:18 AM
Stay, see? says:Happy cupcake-and-stoopid-people-free dae! In honor of this occasion, I tried to find Mae trivia, but all I could come up with is this stoopid Month of May trivia page: http://www.richardswebpage.com/index.php?&width=1280&height=1024. Not even one question about golf or Bridget Jones!
July 16th, 2009 at 8:04 AM
AdmittedlyAddicted says:TRIVIA TRIVIA!! Just for you Mae…
What is the AKC registered name of Obama’s dog? (No google cheating…)
July 16th, 2009 at 8:59 AM
oilybohunk7 says:Happy Birthday Mae!
In honor of your special day I shall quote my favorite line from Better Off Dead: “Damn, sho’ is a shame when people be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that.”
July 16th, 2009 at 10:12 AM
blah says:Happy Birthday Mae! I know the committe has banned cupcakes in honor of this day. How does the panel feel about doughnuts?
July 16th, 2009 at 11:59 AM
Mae says:AdAd, “Amigo’s new hope.” He got the pup from Ted Kennedy. That was easy! Oilybohunk, that line is classic! Blam! Doughnuts are a welcome food in Mae World. MmMMm doughnuts.
July 16th, 2009 at 12:58 PM
stopthemadness says:your escape from the uterus was a job well done, mae!!
July 16th, 2009 at 1:10 PM
AdmittedlyAddicted says:K, what is the most visited place in the US?
July 16th, 2009 at 1:11 PM
AdmittedlyAddicted says:btw, i hate trivia, but it’s your birthday and my boss happens to love it. So all the bullshit trivia questions he comes in here asking me, just so that I’ll feel inferior, are coming to you Ms. Mae. :)
July 16th, 2009 at 1:28 PM
rumoUr says:Happy Birthdae Mae!
The only quote I remember from “Better Off Dead” is this one:
“Two dollars! I want my two dollars!”
Oh and in your honoUr, I’m eating enchiladas! I hope you don’t hate those too.
P.S. Is that cartoon of a space cupcake from Nataliedee.com? And I noticed on Mae’s top ten things she hates post that there’s another cartoon that Natalie Dee’s husband draws. Just askin’, cause I love Natalie Dee’s comics.
July 16th, 2009 at 1:38 PM
oilybohunk7 says:The other quote I love from Better Off Dead is “Gee, I’m really sorry your mom blew up Ricky.”
July 16th, 2009 at 2:20 PM
SeaKat says:Happy birthday, Ms. Mae!! Hope your day is the shiznit! :)
July 16th, 2009 at 2:58 PM
Cristal Methodd says:Yay! I love Mae Dae!! Happy birthday lady!! :)
July 16th, 2009 at 3:06 PM
DonnaMartin says:AdAd- your mom’s house?
:)
July 16th, 2009 at 4:51 PM
DonnaMartin says:now i feel rude. jk, adad!
i’m going to guess, mecca!
except you said u.s.
niagara falls! the new york side.
the mcdonald’s in montpelier vt!
trick answer!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:28 PM
SeaKat says:Maybe the White House, AdAd?
July 16th, 2009 at 6:20 PM
blah says:Thank Xenu…I lurve me some doughnuts. I’ve been trying not to eat them but they stare at me when I grab coffee in the morning.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:33 PM
shu_shu says:Mae, you should know that they are having a HUGE street festival in honor of your birthday right here in Topeka, KS. Okay…well, it’s really the Fiesta Mexicana that Our Lady of Guadalupe church hosts every year…but they have a jalapeno eating contest and carnival rides and it’s totally rad. Just like you.
Happy Birthday!
July 17th, 2009 at 1:51 AM
Mae says:AdAd, I’m going with Times Square. shu_shu, i love all things mexican food. i now love topeka too. also- i would win the jalapeno eating contest hands down. i eat hot peppers like candy. i have a chef friend who gets me bags of peppers that only chefs can get because they’re a health hazard
July 17th, 2009 at 10:00 AM
AdmittedlyAddicted says:Sorry I’m late. No, it’s Mall of America with over 40 million visitors a year.
WTF, right?
July 17th, 2009 at 10:04 AM
drgnsldr says:AdAd, I’m thinking that the bulk of those visitors are from the local retirement homes to cheer on their champion in the annual mall walking marathon.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:27 PM
SeaKat says:Adad, WOW. Just WOW. That pretty much sums up What’s Wrong with America, now doesn’t it??
July 17th, 2009 at 8:43 PM
shu_shu says:If you can get here before tomorrow you can still enjoy the food. Jalapeno eating domination, however, will have to wait for opening night 2010.