Nobody Puts Bambi in a Coffin
Don’t fuck with this lady’s flower bed. 
Some old bag in Ohio found a fawn in her flower garden and beat it to death with a shovel. At first I thought, “I would too, those damned fawns,” until I realized that “flower garden” wasn’t a euphemism and there were no satyrs involved. Dorothy Richardson said she was scared of the animal so she protected herself - with a shovel. To the death (better than to the Pain, I suppose). Neighbors are upset, but no word how they knew the population control expert had done the deed. Did they see her? Can you imagine looking out your window and seeing a septuagenarian going to town on some baby deer? Richardson hasn’t been arrested, but animal control officer Ann Mills requested a warrant. The town’s animal cruelty charge is punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. Which to old people is roughly eleventy billion dollars and 15 years to life.
views: 20
Tags: animal cruelty, Bambi, fawn, Lisa(#1)
This entry was posted on Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 10:00 AM and is filed under News You May or May Not Use. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
July 9th, 2009 at 10:56 AM
payter says:She was scared? Really lady?
The only time deer scare me is when I see them getting ready to jump out across the road I am driving on.
That freaks me out.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:37 AM
Sarah says:Maybe she was afraid it would nuzzle her to death. Old people cannot tolerate nuzzling. True story.
July 9th, 2009 at 12:25 PM
Rev. Random says:I find this all deeply disturbing. That a 75 year old lady would be so amped up on fear that she felt the need to beat a fawn to the death…I mean how long would that take anyway? My yard is a mess so I can’t exactly say what it would feel like to get mad at some deer eating the weeds back there. I’d probably set up a salt lick so it would be tempted to come back and do some more “trimming”. But even if I was obsessive compulsive about it and felt some flash of anger towards Bambi, I’d like to think that after the initial thrust I’d wake up, realize what I was doing, pull back to the house and call my shrink…or get a drink…whichever.
I’m going to pull a Reverse Limbaugh and blame this all on George W. Bush for fanning the flames of fear so high this woman apparently thought she had another 9/11 going on in her back yard and had to defend America.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:14 PM
silent noodles says:Can I just say I love you so hard for using a princess bride reference! Does that make me a dork…yeah probably.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:16 PM
DonnaMartin says:young babes will cry out “DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING!!!”
no, no, you’re not a dork, madame noodles.
also, reverse limbaugh is my new favorite phrase.
July 9th, 2009 at 9:16 PM
rumoUr says:What an evil woman. Who the hell would be afraid of a baby deer. Puh-leaze! That’s a load of bull. Imagine how long it took her frail ass to club that poor baby deer to death. I’m sure it wasn’t a quick and painless death. I hope the deer was carrying ticks and that they jumped onto her and she gets lyme disease. Oh and that she goes to jail too.
July 9th, 2009 at 9:39 PM
WhoMee says:Reverse Limbaugh FTW!
July 10th, 2009 at 1:45 PM
oneofthevoicesinmyhead says:Please, you know she had just had enough of their adorable, speckled asses eating her flowers…and a taste for venison.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:23 PM
syndeypup says:This is unbelievable!! Clearly this woman is evil and is off her rocker.
Something about this story isn’t panning out. Almost all deer, including a helpless baby deer would run away from someone as they approached. Especially someone wielding an angry shovel.
What is it that we aren’t being told here…??
Seriously, this image freaks me out. Poor baby deer. Bad bad old woman.