Balls!

Fun and Games with Ballsts-squirrel-balls

Stopthemadness has a couple of quirky friends that love to play quirky games.  They came up with this one on a road trip in New Zealand.  The only clear radio station they could find was an Easy Listening station, so they decided to replace the word “love” with the word “balls” and hilarity ensued.  Thundersquee! hereby brings the hilarity right to your computer machines.

Childish?  Yes.  Silly?  Uh-huh?  A much needed respite from discussions of racism, sexism, gay marriage-ism, and broken microwavism?  Absolutely.

I’ve Got My Balls to Keep Me Warm, Frank Sinatra

The snow is snowing, the wind is blowing
But I can weather the storm
What do I care how much it may storm?
I’ve got my balls to keep me warm



Crazy Little Thing Called Balls, Queen

This thing called balls, I just can’t handle it
This thing called balls, I must get ’round to it
I ain’t ready
Crazy little thing called balls

This thing (this thing) called balls (called balls)
It cries (like a baby) in a cradle all night
It swings, it jives
It shakes all over like a jellyfish
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called balls



Baby Balls, The Supremes

Ooh baby balls, my baby balls
I need you, oh how I need you
But all you do is treat me bad
Break my heart and leave me sad
Tell me, what did I do wrong
To make you stay away so long

‘Cause baby balls, my baby balls
Been missing ya, miss kissing ya
Instead of breaking up
Let’s do some kissing and making up



All You Need is Balls, The Beatles

All you need is balls, all you need is balls,
All you need is balls, balls, balls is all you need.
Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls.
All you need is balls, all you need is balls,
All you need is balls, balls, balls is all you need.



Now That We’ve Found Balls, Heavy D and the Boyz

What is this thing called balls
I’m not quite sure
As to what is going down
But I’m feelin’ Hunkey Dory
‘Bout this thing that I found

Now that we found balls
What are we gonna do with it?



Can You Feel the Balls Tonight, Elton John

And can you feel the balls tonight
How it’s laid to rest
It’s enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best



You Give Balls a Bad Name, Bon Jovi

Shot through the heart, and your to blame, darling
You give balls a bad name


An angel’s smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven then put me through hell
Chains of balls, got a hold on me
When passion’s a prison you can’t break free



You’ll Never Find Another Balls Like Mine, Lou Rawls

You’ll never find, as long as you live
Someone who balls you tender like I do
You’ll never find, no matter where you search
Someone who cares about you the way I do

You’re gonna miss my ballin’ (you’re gonna miss my ballin’)
You’re gonna miss my ballin’ (you’re gonna miss my ballin’)
You’re gonna miss, you’re gonna miss my ba-a-alls



I Want to Know What Balls Is, Foreigner

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
And through the clouds I see balls shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

Let’s talk about balls
(I wanna know what balls is) the balls that you feel inside
(I want you to show me) I’m feeling so much balls
(I wanna feel what balls is) no, you just cannot hide
(I know you can show me) yeah, woah-oh-ooh



The Power of Balls, Huey Lewis & the News

The power of balls is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling that’s the power of balls

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girl’s dream
Make a bad one good make a wrong one right
Power of balls that keeps you home at night



What did you come up with?  Tell us in the comments section.

(Thanks to Ramy and Chelsea for the idea and to Mae for her help!)

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11 Responses to “Balls!”

  1. June 4th, 2009 at 9:30 AM

    cooter jean says:

    This is excellently hilarious.

    I raise my balls to you.

  2. June 4th, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    cookiebees says:

    I want to suggest the ball version of, Pokerface. Ballface

    Or even better, ball version of Sweet Child of Mine.

    Sweet Balls Of Mine

  3. June 4th, 2009 at 10:01 AM

    silent noodles says:

    Ball Shack? Let my Balls open the door? My endless Balls? It’s only balls? I will do anything for balls(but I won’t do that)…ok I’m done now

  4. June 4th, 2009 at 10:32 AM

    cookiebees says:

    Don’t let the balls go down on me.

  5. June 4th, 2009 at 11:13 AM

    TT2 says:

    Silent Noodles, you are genius. Ball Shack would be awesome.

  6. June 4th, 2009 at 11:23 AM

    Bizzzzle says:

    Burning Love - Elvis (I’m pretty sure Elvis DID actually sing these lyrics at one point or another…)

    Lord Almighty,
    I feel my temperature rising
    Higher higher
    It’s burning through to my soul

    Your kisses lift me higher
    Like the sweet song of a choir
    You light my morning sky
    With burning ::balls::

    Lord Almighty,
    I’m burning a hole where I lay
    Cause your kisses lift me higher
    Like the sweet song of a choir
    You light my morning sky
    With burning ::balls::
    With burning ::balls::
    Ah, ah, burning ::balls::
    I’m just a hunk, a hunk of burning ::balls::
    Just a hunk, a hunk of burning ::balls::
    Just a hunk, a hunk of burning ::balls::
    Just a hunk, a hunk of burning ::balls::
    Just a hunk, a hunk of burning ::balls::
    Just a hunk, a hunk of burning ::balls::

  7. June 4th, 2009 at 1:33 PM

    cooter jean says:

    Baby I love your balls (way)

    Gimme balls (more)

    cold as balls (ice)

    Love really hurts without balls (you)

  8. June 4th, 2009 at 3:54 PM

    TheHobo says:

    These Balls of Mine (From these arms of mine–ahem)

    These balls of mine
    They are lonely, lonely and feeling blue
    These balls of mine
    They are yearning, yearning from wanting you

    And if you would [hold them]
    Oh, how grateful I will be
    These balls of mine
    They are burning, burning from wanting you
    These balls of mine
    They are wanting, wanting to [be held by] you

    And if you would [hold them]
    Oh, how grateful I will be
    Come on, come on baby
    Just be my little woman, just be my lover, oh
    I need me somebody, somebody to treat me right, oh
    I need your woman’s loving arms to hold [them] tight
    And I…I…I need…I need your…I need your tender lips

  9. June 4th, 2009 at 4:44 PM

    cooter jean says:

    Oh, good one Hobo!

  10. June 5th, 2009 at 10:04 AM

    TheHobo says:

    Thanks!

    I really do love Otis Redding…but I’m glad he never actually sang about balls…

  11. June 5th, 2009 at 10:48 AM

    cooter jean says:

    Black Crows: Seeing balls for the first time

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