New Zealand Rubs Their Penguins in Our Faces
It’s not enough that New Zealand is a geographically diverse and beautiful country filled with hospitable people, home to sheep whose only apparent jobs are sitting around adding to the ambience, and has the highest life satisfaction rate among its people in the world. Those assholes have to rub our faces in it by having penguins, too. New Zealand is home to nine different species of Penguins, and as such, they have labeled themselves the penguin capital of the world. So what do you do when your country is thick with penguins and you want to thumb your nose at other, non-penguin-having countries? You make them earn their keep by showing off in sporting events, like football/soccer, Frisbee, surfing, swing ball and waddle races, of course.
That’s right, you host a goddamned penguin olympics, or as they’re calling it, a Penguathalon. This month the fine folks at Kelly Tarlton Arctic Encounter Underwater World in Orakei, New Zealand are extending a middle finger to the rest of the world, showing us just how great their jobs are as they showcase the variety of enrichment activities they have developed to increase the quality of life of the penguins in their colony. Gregg Anderson, Tourism New Zealand’s Regional Manager for UK and Europe explains:
“New Zealand has the greatest diversity of penguin species and is arguably the best place in the world to see them. As well as being great fun, the Penguathlon gives people a fantastic chance to get up close with them as well as gaining a better understanding about their welfare”
Oh, shut up, Gregg. You’re just sticking the boot in and using your charming Kiwi accent to do it.
In case you don’t already hate New Zealand enough, here’s an incredibly cute video of Penguathalon activities. It doesn’t have any audio, which seems to imply New Zealanders have some sense of mercy, but that’s all just part of their siren song. I will not succumb! Away foul temptress! Or, in this case, fowl temptress…
Tags: Kelly Tarlton Arctic Encounter Underwater World, Lily the Pink, ltp, New Zealand, Penguins
This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 at 10:44 AM and is filed under Daily Whims. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
May 12th, 2009 at 10:51 AM
WhoMee says:I’m gonna show this to my Kiwi roommate. He has never mentioned penguins in his homeland.
May 12th, 2009 at 10:58 AM
Mae says:Fuckers!
*Those penguins have more athletic ability than I do now.
May 12th, 2009 at 12:32 PM
Helen Skor says:WhoMee, I will trade you my PA-native roommate for your kiwi roommate. I’ll even throw in a $25 gas card and a home-cooked meal.
May 12th, 2009 at 1:53 PM
Mae says:Homecooked meal and gas card? That seems like a great trade for me. What kind of meal are you talking about? I could probably find a kiwi somewhere. What can I get for a Scotsman?
May 12th, 2009 at 2:17 PM
TheHobo says:How the hell can swimming birds be so damn cute? I hear they smell though. I’m going to remember that and NOT want one as a pet.
May 12th, 2009 at 2:39 PM
SeaKat says:I was worried after reading the title. I’m not sure if penguin feathers would be gently exfoliating, or simply irritating to my sensitive skin.
May 12th, 2009 at 6:18 PM
blah says:New Zealand also has the worlds greatest rugby team. They are the only rugby team out there that does the haka before each game. It feckin’ rocks.
GO ALL BLACKS!
May 13th, 2009 at 4:24 PM
stopthemadness says:i’m on board with that sentiment, blah!
May 13th, 2009 at 5:40 PM
Lily the Pink says:Blah, I actually had that in there then figured no one would know who the All Blacks are. I also thought it might piss off Mr. The Pink because he’s a Wales supporter.
May 13th, 2009 at 8:02 PM
Helen Skor says:Mae, a Scotsman might work. But only if he has a love of the booze - a girl has to have her standards.
As for the meal - I can make whatever you like. Just don’t ask me to bake!
May 13th, 2009 at 8:07 PM
Helen Skor says:Oh, and I just watched the video and had a couple of observations:
1) Penguins are way cooler than I ever imagined.
2) Is it just me or do they look utterly terrified of the swinging red ball?
3) Also, do the swinging red and blue balls conjure thoughts of birds with their beaks caught in those plastic things that go on 6-packs? Because I’m disturbed by that.
4) When the penguin at the end sticks his head in the “goal” I just about pissed me panties from laughing.